I cannot believe it's Friday already. Yesterday when Cupcake reminded me it was Thursday I was shocked. But it's Friday. It's also CD4.
Tuesday after lunch I found out that Cycle #9 was a bust. I was upset, cried a few tears in the bathrooom, but then got back to work. The hardest part was going to agility after work because I knew, but Kevin didn't. I was more upset about having to tell Kevin that it didn't work than I was about it actually not working. He was so vocal and optimistic this cycle. When I did tell him once we got home he admitted to me that he was hoping for a BFP for his birthday. It broke my heart.
We have decided to take a break from TTC. We might start again in October, but for now, we're going to focus on adoption. Our homestudy appt on Wednesday went well. My individual interview went really long because our SW realized that morning that she hadn't gotten my autobiography. So it ended up being about an hour long. The couples interview was next and it was pretty short so I got out of there around 10am. Kevin's individual interview was about 20 minutes. The SW said that all our paperwork and clearances are in and everything cleared. So now we're waiting on our reference letters to come in. My friends tend to be procrastinators (like me) so I sent them all a text message reminding them that we had our appt and that the letters would be the last thing. I'll email them next week again. I don't want to be THAT friend that nags you when she's asked you for a favor but seriously, it's all our approval is contingent on. Get it in people!
About an hour after I found out about the failure of cycle #9, that lawyer I mentioned before called me. About a week after getting in touch with him, I called him again and told him that we were probably going to go with someone local but that we would keep him in mind in case we changed our mind. Well Tuesday he called to say that he's got a couple of birthmothers that he's getting ready to match up and wanted to give us a chance to be considered. Of course to be considered we'd have to pay him a retainer ($6,000) and that doesn't even guarantee that we'd get picked. It seems a bit much to me but our SW told us that's the norm when dealing with adoption attorneys. Kevin is still hesitant to use him because of what we learned on the internet about him (not good stuff). But then my Tia's co-worker swears by him and even went back a second time because she was so happy with the first. I'm going to try to call her again this weekend. Last time I never actually got a hold of her.
J's special mass is this weekend so it's off to exciting, exotic Trenton. But I'm really looking forward to seeing my cousin T. About a year or so ago, she had brain surgery to remove a tumor. J shaved his head bald when she did to show his support of her. RR told me that she's doing a lot better but I'm glad to be able to see her.
Friday, July 31, 2009
I cannot believe it's Friday already. Yesterday when Cupcake reminded me it was Thursday I was shocked. But it's Friday. It's also CD4.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Kevin and I had a good weekend. I convinced him on Saturday to go clothes shopping for him. And a few items for me. I used the excuse of getting him clothes for his birthday as well as clothes for the cruise to get him to go. I use to hate shopping with him. We'd make a list of all the stores we would need to go to and then we'd get to the first store and he'd complain that he had a headache and was tired and wanted to go home. Yes, this is my husband, not my three year old child. It got to the point that other than the grocery store and S.am's Cl.ub, I refused to go anywhere with him. But he's gotten a better attitude and I've gotten better at stragegically planning the trips. Like I always end the trip with a visit to K.ohl's which is Kevin's favorite department store. He'll go in there and come out with at least 3 or 4 shirts for work. Even if he doesn't NEED any new ones. Strangely, they are a weakness for him.
The other thing I've been thinking about is the twinges I've been having in the left ovary area. I looked back at the blog and realized that around 9-10DPO last cycle I was having the same thing and if I had to describe it the best description is that twinge you get before you're about to ovulate and your follies are growing. Last cycle I just dismissed it but then this cycle ended up being delayed because I had a 15mm follicle on the left side at my menses test. And this cycle I've had the same twinges around 9-10DPO so I'm thinking if we did a menses check we're prolly going to find another largish follicle.
Now I'm about 95% sure this cycle didn't work. It was the best shot we've had since we started this whole TTC thing. I've been a little emotional about it but mostly calm. I decided not to say anything to Kevin until AF shows up. Usually in the mornings he'll ask me about my temp but this morning he didn't. Maybe he can tell.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Here are the Honest Scrap stipulations:
- Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find interesting and engaging *I'm gonna do 8 so that I fulfill my duties from the 8x8 award earlier with this one
- Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog and leave a comment informing them that they have won the "Honest Scrap Award" or "8x8 Award"
- List at least 10 honest things about yourself
- I'm a tech junkie - if it's new and improved and a gadget, I probably own it.
- I'm not a big fan of chocolate, especially plain chocolate. However we have to keep a huge stash of it around because Kevin is a chocoholic!
- I was a biology & chemistry double major when I started college but after two years (and only being a year away from graduation) I changed my major to Graphic Design.
- If I had stayed in college one more semester I would have come out with three minors - Biology, Chemistry & English.
- Kevin and I still refer to the dogs as yours and mine. If I say "Your dog is under the bed," he knows I'm talking about Les. If I say "My dog needs a good brushing," I'm talking about Dave.
- Until Kevin and I got married we didn't have pet names for eachother. We never called eachother Honey, Sweetie, Darling or anything else. Now we often refer to eachother as Husband and Wife. For instance if I need something I'll say "Husband, can I have a glass of orange juice please?"
- I call Chicken "Chicken" IRL. When I introduce her to anyone I have to force myself to call her by her real name.
- My sister and I are power houses at any board game we play together. Pictionary, Cranium, etc. If it's a team board game and we're on the same team we always win.
- I suck at Scrabble and my husband and in-laws love playing it. They have score sheets from years and years ago in the box and can recall any game they've played just by looking at the score sheet.
- I know how to code HTML by hand. I was taught that way and I really struggle using WYSIWYG editors. I've had dozens of website over the years that I've designed and coded and when I had my own business, that was the bulk of the work I would do.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Chicklet got to go home today. Chicken was kind of relieved, only because she thinks this means that she'll get more than two hours sleep at a time. Between Chicklet, the doctors, the techs drawing blood, the nurses, visitors and phone calls she wasn't able to sleep very well. I don't think it's going to be much different at home (except the doctors, nurses and techs part), but we'll see how that goes. Chicklet is the first grandchild on both sides and both grandmas live pretty close, so maybe that will help?
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Overall I thought the movie was good. The kids are better actors, most of the over-acting is done by insignificant side characters (*cough*LavenderBrown*cough*) and they've gotten better at cutting out the things that don't really need to be in the movies. There were just two things I didn't like. First that Ginny was the one who hid the potions book. In the book, Harry hides it, intending to retrieve it once the heat is off and so marks the spot with a bust, wig & tiara (which we learn in HP7 is a diadem). He recalls seeing the tiara in HP7 and so knows where to get it from once he realizes what it is. If he didn't hide the potions book in the this movie, how's he suppose to remember about it in HP7? The other problem I had was that there was no Hogwarts fight scene at the end. My dad saw the movie this past weekend and as he's never read the book, he thought this one was a boring. He said it needed a fight scene. I agree. Get rid of the unneeded attack on the Burrow (Hello! Where's the escape from Privit Drive/Wedding going to take place then?) and the anachronistic bridge collapse and put in the Hogwarts skirmish. Then it would have been much better. But other than that, I didn't really mind any of the other changes and thought the movie did a good job of carrying itself, both as the 6th movie in a series and standing alone.
Sunday we celebrated the 3 year anniversary in our house! These past three years have been filled! We got engaged, got married, found ourselves battling IF. I lost a grandfather and Kevin lost both his grandparents. We hosted the inlaws with no major catastrophes. We're still trying to tame the front garden and haven't gotten grass to grow in the back yard. Oh yeah, it was filled. We went to Red L.obster to celebrate. We have friends who make fun of us, claiming that RL is not real seafood, but I remember when I was little we only ever went there for special occaisions. My birthday or Dad's. And so now, when I think of special occaisions, I always think Red Lo.bster. I always get a half order of crab legs and Kevin always gets the Alfredo Linguini with Chicken. If you can't tell, we're creatures of habit.
Friday, July 17, 2009
I was tagged a while ago but I'm usually bad at these things and then I was tagged again the other day so I figured I should do this one first. This one is called 8x8.
Mentioned who tagged you: Lucy
Complete the list of 8’s
Tag 8 people
8 THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO:
- Getting a BFP
- Finishing our Adoption Homestudy
- Start coaching again in the fall
- Going on our honeymoon(ish) cruise!
- Having a kid(s)
- Visiting my parents in September
- Seeing Chicklet (and Chicken) in September
- Standing with Chicken at her wedding in June 2010.
- Went to a game night where I hardly knew anyone
- Went to work
- Posted on my blog
- Went to agility with Dave & Les (and Kevin)
- Had a really good agility class with Dave
- Started my 2ww
- Called R for the third time to get my follie measurements cause I kept losing them
- Realized I needed to have sent out my passport renewal like last week and it's still sitting on the nightstand.
- Have a kid
- Work from home
- Play soccer better
- Reach 12,000 steps in one day
- Buy CS4 for home
- Have a kid already
- Make this IUI work
- Be done with the 2ww (but only if IUI was successful)
- How I Met Your Mother
- United States of Tara
- True Blood
- Amazing Race
- Real World/Road Rules Challenges
- green grapes
- Galapagos Islands
- Vermont in winter
- Trenton, NJ - to watch my cousin take the first of his priestly vows.
No one only because I'm doing this so late, but if you want to do it, then I'm tagging you.
Tomorrow I'll do the next one.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Dr. Grrr didn't show up to my appt till 1pm. Apparently the ER he had before my appt hadn't gone very well. I could tell he was upset because he didn't have the usual edge that he normally does. I forgot to check on Kevin's numbers, but they didn't seem concerned. We even got to see the little swimmers under the microscope.
Before the IUI Dr. Grrr did an u/s and he said that he thinks one of the follicles might have already ovulated. My measurements were 21mm & 18mm on right and 17mm on left. I was a little sad when he said this (I'm not sure why) but then he said maybe not...it was all very weird, especially considering the mood he was in.
Afterwards I went home and read (laying down of course!) my latest book and then prepped dinner. Kevin got home and we cooked. We watched Eag.le E.ye which was a fun movie. Not nearly as scary as Ene.my of the S.tate.
Tonight I'm meeting some friends for a girls game night. It's crazy because the girl who is hosting it (I don't know her) lives on the other side of the creek that runs behind the houses across the street from me. Got that? Anways, her house is like 1300 ft away from my house (see google map picture) but because of that creek, the shortest street distance is 2.5 miles. I could walk to her house but the creek doesn't have a bridge or steady crossing. I'm looking forward to tonight. It will be a nice break I think.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
I'm sitting here at work counting down the minutes till I can leave for IUI#2. Kevin's going with me but I'm meeting him there. Then I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off. I was willing to come back this afternoon, but Cupcake told me not to bother. I'll still sign in from home cause I'd feel guilty if anything came up.
Monday's u/s appt was scheduled for 3:30pm. But since my boss was leaving for a week long sales pitch trip he needed tons of collateral and sales material from us marketing people before he left at 2pm. I managed to get it all done (cause I skipped my lunch!) by the time he left and then with finishing up all the other things that needed to be done Monday, I ended up not leaving till 3:30. Luckily Dr. Grrr's office was nice and they saw me as soon as I got in (around 4pm). We did the u/s and they found a 22mm & 16 mm on the right and the 18mm on the left. Now I know the drugs are strong but somehow I don't think that follicles can grow 4mm overnight. It's always fustrating to go to the coverage RE's office because stuff like this always happen - they can't find my ovary, measure wrong, or I end up having to see Dr. Grrr the next day anyways. What's the point? Anyways, Dr. Grrr told me to trigger as late as possible on Monday night and then scheduled the IUI for 12:15 today. Pray that he can stay on schedule. He has an ER this morning so we might have to wait a bit. Hopefully not though.
One thing Dr. Grrr was concerned about was my E2 levels. From what I can find on the internet they should be around 150-200 per mature follicle. I had them checked on Friday and Sunday and they were 229 and 378 respectively. He said they weren't terrible numbers, but a bit low considering I have 3.
My bbt (yes I'm back at it again!) this morning was 97.45° which is a good pre-ovluation reading for me. Hopefully tomorrow it will rise! I wonder if it will be higher than normal because there are 3 follicles? And of course I'm freaking out that I won't have a temp rise. But I've made the decision that I'm going to temp the whole 2ww. I need some kind of hint which way things are going.
In other news, Chicklet will be here in less that a week! She's weighing approx. 7lbs 6 oz already! So they're planning on doing a c-section a week before her due date. I'm sad that I'll be missing it, although not having to be right there might be better for me psychologically. Also it's a bit of a relief that she's coming a week early. Otherwise she would be being born right around 14dpo. If I got a BFN it would be a double blow. I know, it's a bit selfish, but these are the thoughts in my head.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
So this morning was planned down to a T. We woke at 6am and got ready. Then Kevin drove me to the hospital (for the E2 blood draw) and we were there by 7:20. I was the first one in and done quickly so that we were out the door by 7:35. There were already two other couples when I got out! We drove south of town near where the coverage RE's office is. However since we had an hour & 20 minute wait between we decided to go to IH.OP. It's one of Kevin & my's favorite breakfast venues. We stalled as much as possible but eventually we just made our way over to the RE's office. We got there around 8:40 and there were 2 ladies ahead of us. The RE was there but his nurse wasn't. She showed up about 10 to 9 and all three of us went into rooms. I was hoping that the other two would go quickly and that maybe I could make it to the river by 9:30 but of course that didn't happen. So I waited and waited and eventually around 9:30 they came in. Two follies on right, measuring 18mm and 15mm. Not much growth, grrr! And one on the left measuring 15mm. Sigh. The RE told me that he was going to call Dr. Grrr with his findings and that Dr. Grrr would give me a call to let me know what to do.
Friday, July 10, 2009
On Monday when I went to go see Dr. Grrr he asked me to come back on Thursday. I said okay and got a 3:00 appt. Then I got to work and realized what this meant. Come in late Monday, come in late Wednesday (for homestudy), leave early Thursday. So for some reason I thought it would be better if I could spread out the days more and really, how much could change by me coming in for a follie check the next morning instead?
On Tuesday I called R and told her that I had an out of town meeting on Thursday and that I wasn't going to be able to come in. At first she said it should be fine to come in Friday morning, but then suggested I come in Wednesday. I told her that I wouldn't be able to do Wednesday (because I'd be preparing for my OOT meeting) and so I got the first appt on Friday. I felt bad about lying, but what was I suppose to do? Every time I hesitate because of work, they act like I've got my priorities in the wrong order. Having a family is important to me but I need a job to afford these expensive cycles (and expensive kid eventually). Also I haven't told anyone at work what's up (I work with mainly men), they just see me coming in late, taking long lunches and going outside to talk on my cell phone. Nothing to be suspicious about. Right?
And then, at this morning's appt, R tells me that yesterday around 3PM they lost power for the rest of the day! So I would have left work early, arrived right as the power went out, waited around for nothing and then would have come in late today anyways! So see, it all worked out for the best.
So the follie check showed the two on the right measuring 15mm and 13mm. And then he looked on the right and there were only two! One was measuring 14mm and the second was 9mm. So he's not worried about the second one catching up to the other three so I'm all go for an IUI next week. Dr. Grrr said that we'll do another follie check on Sunday morning with a possible trigger Sunday night and IUI on Tuesday. Annoyingly the earliest appt available on Sunday is 9:20 am. This weekend I'm taking a Whitewater Kayaking course which runs 9am-5pm on both days. Hopefully the instructors will work with me on being late on Sunday.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
This morning I woke up with a definite list of things to do in my head. Nothing major, most of the cleaning had happened the night before. Mainly cleaning after the dogs - vacuuming their hair up, wet swiffering their drool spots off the floor/window ledge, removing nose marks from the windows. Stuff I didn't want to do till I kicked the dogs out this morning. Dave was a little annoyed with me, but she use to be an all-the-time outside dog so I don't think she's allowed to complain.
The SW got there right on time. The first thing we did was tour the house and she asked a couple of questions about the house(sq. footage, lot size, location of fire extinguishers). Some questions on locations of fire stations/hospitals. We talked about the neighborhood - our block parties, kids in the neighborhood, etc. Then she asked us a few questions about us - most of this stuff were things we put in the autobiographies/application. She told us that our clearances from Florida and Ohio had arrived, she was just waiting on the fingerprint reports. She's sending out the references today, so hopefully those we've chosen will send them back soon. After asking if we had any questions (no) we set the date/time for our last homestudy appt. This part will be the personal interviews (individual & together). We went with the last Wednesday in July. It just happened to fall on Kevin's birthday, but I didn't even realize till afterwards. He didn't say anything about it so I'm assuming he doesn't mind.
Tonight we're going to a Son.ic You.th concert in town. Kevin told me about this concert like four months ago. We haven't gotten tickets yet because he refuses to use Ticket Bastard(his nickname for TM) so hopefully we'll be able to get in.
Monday, July 6, 2009
- Two mature and all goes as planned.
- All six (or more than two mature).
- do an IUI and selectively reduce to twins after the fact,
- skip this cycle all together,
- convert this cycle to IVF.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Last you heard, Kevin and I were preparing to go to our a meeting with a social worker (SW) at JFS. They had sent us the application packet prior to our meeting so at the meeting if we knew that this was the next step for us we could get started right away. Well the meeting went really well and the so we did it! Back in January we decided to go with JFS mainly for the reason that they didn't require a 3 year marriage prior to application. If so, Kevin and I would have to wait till September 2010. Anyways, in talking to the SW I just felt more and more comfortable with this agency.
That night we had to turn in quite a few things:
- The JFS application
- A copy of our birth certificates
- A copy of our passports
- A copy of our driver's license
- A copy of our marriage certificate
- A personal finance form
- A copy of last year's 1040 and a few bank statements supporting the information provided in the personal finance form
- A copy of our health and dental insurance cards
- Names and addresses of 5 references (they couldn't be related to us and must have known us for at least 4 years)
- Autobiographies and a self-questionnaire (this was really interesting to read since we wrote them separately)
- A photograph of us
- Verification of Employment (a copy of our current paychecks)
- Sworn Disclosure
- Corporal Punishment Policy Agreement
- Information Release Form
- Signed Fee Agreement Form (this is agreeing that we are going to pay)
- Signed Fee Statement (this was a schedule of their fees that we agreed to)
The cost for the homestudy is $1800. This seemed to be consistent with what others I've heard of have paid. They split it up into thirds that are due at the first meeting, the home visit and the last meeting. Additional costs that we've had - $20 co-pay for the Pati.entFirs.t visit for me (Kevin doesn't have a co-pay with his insurance plan), $10 Child Abuse Check Fee, $20 to get fingerprinted, $100 Fingerprint Processing (by the FB.I) fee.