I'm a Saboteur!

Remember how I posted about Les possibly making it out of Level 4 before Dave did? Well it happened. On Tuesday. At the end of a horrible class on Tuesday (Dave and I are NOT returning to any classes taught by that woman again!) the instructor approached Kevin and said that Les was good to move on to Level 5 but that Dave was not. Did he want his card, or did he want to wait till Dave was ready? Kevin took the card but told her Les would stay in Level 4 till Dave was ready to move up too. This is what we had already decided before the class. Knowing what was going to happen, I asked Kevin last week what we would do if Les advanced out. We only have one "dog" car so it would mean all four of us hanging around for 2 hours while each dog had their turn. He decided that both dogs would just wait for each other to both advance out of the class. The instructor(a different one) last night said that Dave prolly only has one or two more weeks before she'll be ready.

Anyways, yesterday as we were loading into the car, I closed the door after the dogs had jumped into the back seat and immeadiately, Les turned to me with a look on her face like "You eeeeeee-diot! You've just shut the door on me!" I opened the door right away and tried to get her to come out of the car so I could figure out if I caught her foot or her tail but she didn't want to come out. I finally had to reach in and lift her out. As soon as I put her on the floor, she turned around and got back in the car. There was no way she was getting left behind just cause she got hurt! She reminded me of past soccer players that roll their ankle or take a bad fall but get up and keep going because there's no way they're giving anyone an excuse to pull them off the field. So we went to class. Les didn't have the best class. She was a little shaken up, favoring one of her back legs - I couldn't tell which - and not doing well. Dave on the other hand had a stupendous class! But I'm not sure if it's because she really was on par last night or if it was because Les was not her usual stellar self so Dave didn't pale in comparison. Afterwards Kevin accused me of sabotaging Les so that Dave would look good. He was only joking, but I still felt bad.

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Yesterday when I noticed my temps going down, I commented to Kevin that we were going to have to make sure that we cuddled and slept right next to each other so that my temperature would be nice and high in the morning. I was kidding because I know that cuddling and being hot doesn't stop the progesterone from petering out, only being pregnant does. However last night I woke up in the middle of the night super hot! Kevin was like right next to me! I scooted over on the bed and went back to sleep and like 5 minutes later, woke up again because Kevin has moved closer! Soon I was right on the edge of the bed, trying to keep the covers on me and not fall off. I eventually had to do a "cat stretch" which pushed Kevin away and re-established my bed space. I woke up to take my temp like normal and Kevin asked what it was. 98.23°! He had this huge grin on his face, proud of doing his part in keeping my temperatures high. I didn't have the heart to tell him the high temp was probably due to interupted sleep and moving around more than usual. But still a high temp is a high temp, one that can keep the hope alive for one more day. But still, for you chart stalkers out there, take no stock in the high temp this morning. I have managed to sabotage my own BBT chart.

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btw, that "You eeeeeee-diot!" from earlier is totally to be read like Ren always tells Stimpy.

8DPO and visits

Today is 8DPO and I have to say I'm not feeling too excited. I'm mentally preparing myself for AF because I'm just that sure that this cycle wasn't the one. It's always weird but I spend the first week of the 2WW optimistic and hopeful that it worked. And then when the 2nd week starts and I see my temps going down (albeit slightly) it's like someone let all the air out of the balloon. It sucks! So now I guess I wait. 12DPO is next Tuesday. We'll see how I feel then.
My sister, Wiki is coming to visit! I'm sooooo excited! I haven't seen her since my wedding! She lives in Colorado so it makes it hard, but we talk on the phone every day, sometimes even twice a day. I remember when Kevin and I first moved away, he was astounded by how much my sister and I talked and that we called each other multiple times during the day. It took him a while to get over it, although now I will retreat into another room to talk when she calls. I love listening in to people talking on the phone and in my head guessing what the other person is saying. I guess I just figured Kevin liked doing that too. Not!
Two weeks ago, Wiki lost her job. She was a corporate trainer for a national company and they had a "reduction of workforce" and my sister was one of the affected. It sucks! She was just getting her head above the water and now she might sink back under. She had a series of moves that caused her not to have a steady income for a really long time (14 months!) and that ate up her savings and put her into debt. Hopefully she'll be able to find a new job soon, one just as awesome as the one she had before (she really liked her job).
One good thing that came out of the awful mess is that she's coming into town! I had a $200 credit at Jet.Blue so I decided to fly her out here. Luckily she had a break in her soccer schedule (yes, she's a coach too!) so everything worked out. She's going to be here for 3 work days so I need to figure out what I'm going to do with work/her.
Speaking of visits, one of my cousins, RR, is coming to DC this weekend. RR is 2y5mos younger than me but growing up we were always really close. She was the good one and of course I was the troublemaker. But we got along because most times she would just do/play what I wanted. Yes, I was a brat when I was younger. Anyways, a couple of years before we moved to Florida, her family moved away (still in Texas, just 14 hours away!) so we only got to spend summers together when her family would visit our grandfather. We stayed close throughout high school but then college life started and I was distracted and then she went away to college and we never really got that bond back. We both lived in Ohio at the same time but on opposite ends so we didn't really connect then either. When we see each other we're still good, but it's sad to say that I don't think of her often, usually only when I see a status updated on faceb.ook. In fact, that's the only reason why I knew she was coming into town. Because she said something in her status and so I wrote on her wall. I'm not even that confident that we are going to be able to connect. I guess we'll just have to see.

Ca-Winky-Dink

So if I had never gone to the RE this cycle, I would totally be crapping myself right about now. I'd be 10 DPO with a implantation dip followed by a definite triphasic pattern on my BBT chart.
But it turns out that the "implantation dip" was an ovulation dip. And yes FF did eventually correct itself, but not till the actual day of real ovulation. So we would have missed this cycle or had a really low chance. Same as what happened back in October. What a "coincidence" that we happened to go to the doctor the day before I actually ovulated this cycle.
I've always told myself not to worry too much about plotting out the future, that with God's grace things have a way of working out on their own and I've kind of just gone with the flow. That's not to say that I don't take a proactive approach to situations & problems, but I totally realize that I can't will myself into being pregnant. I've just got to have faith that I WILL have a family of my own, wait and keep praying.
Note: This is not the same as "just relaxing" about the whole situation.

Ovulation v2.0

Yesterday's appointment went well. Dr. G was dissappointed that I didn't do an OPK. First he did another ultrasound and couldn't find Mr. Follicle. At one point he asked "Was it on the right or left ovary?" and Ms. J responded that it was on the right. He said that he couldn't see it and so had another look. But it wasn't there anymore! It's a good thing we had this appt! Otherwise we would have completely missed this month because I thought I had ovulated back on Friday. Next was the PCT. We gathered around the microscope and I got to see the little swimmers! I didn't think to ask if it was a good sample or not but both he and Ms. J seemed pleased.
My temp this morning shot up! Even higher than on Saturday. So now we wait. The 12DW to be exact.
On a happy note, it looks like Valeta had her baby! He's soooo cute! And I think he came on his due date which is awesome. Yay for baby!

FF is wrong!

Whew! Yesterday was a busy day. First was the RE appt.
Dr. G is definitely what you would call a character. He was much more animated than Dr. T and also more thorough. He asked us all sorts of questions about our family histories and about what course of treatment I had been on before. It felt like what an RE appt should feel like. He was excited to learn that I've been doing bbt for the past four months and even wanted to see the charts. Of course I didn't actually bring them with me. I printed out all my charts when I went to go see Dr. T the first time and even updated my file on subsequent visits but Dr. T hardly even glanced at them during the first appt and then never even asked me to see them after that. I didn't bring them with me this time so of course Dr. G wanted to see them! Then he decided to show us a video of past surgeries he's done to show us various problems. While he was pointing stuff out, he suddenly looked at Kevin and asked him if the room was getting hot. I looked at Kevin and he was loosening his collar and rolling up his sleeves. Dr. T told him he could lie down on the floor if he needed to and Kevin actually did it! The video was making him queasy! I didn't believe it at first but then I looked at his face and could see it. This is the man who can watch countless scary movies with guts, blood and gore. He can play tons of assassin type video games but he couldn't watch a video of an abnormal uterus/fallopian tubes/ovaries! I so wanted to laugh but I held it in.
Next came the exam. Which was a novelty because Dr. T never even did one. And he didn't have my records from my regular OB/GYN because they didn't fax them in time. So WTF? I was telling Dr. G that because of my temp rises, FF thought I ovulated on Friday. He said he didn't think so because I still had really good CM. Next we did an u/s and Bam! Sitting right there on the right ovary was a big a$$ follicle waiting to pop! He found a few cysts on the left ovary but he didn't seem to be too concerned about them. He told me to take a OPK test yesterday, but with everything going on, I forgot. Then this morning when I put in my new temp, FF took away my ovulation.
Afterwards we came up with a plan of attack. Since he thinks I'm going to ovulate soon, he wants to try to get this cycle in. We're going to do a PCT today and if I need a trigger then I'll get that. Also he wants me to try to lose 40 lbs and go on Metformin. He mentioned doing another round of Clomid or possibly Femara. I'm feeling really positive now about the whole RE situation. I'm so glad I switched.
I found a bigger lasagna pan at the store so Kevin and I tried to figure out how to transfer the lasagna without destroying it. We couldn't do it so we just dropped the smaller overflowing pan into the bigger pan. When I arrived at the family's house, I got out of my car, walked over to the passenger side and the door was locked. I fished in my pockets for my keys and they weren't there! I looked inside the car and there are my keys sitting in my purse. Arg! I've only ever locked my keys in the car twice and one of those times wasn't my fault! So I had to go up to the house and call Kevin to come open the doors. Luckily he took a half day like me so he was available but I was so mad at myself. After about 25 minutes he arrived and we were able to rescue the items. I was so embarrassed. Hopefully the next family will go smoother.
We also had agility last night and I think Les might advance out of the class before Dave does. Even though Dave has been doing this longer, Les has an edge on her. Because she learned everything in the school, she knows certain basics like nose touches, focus forwards, driving the line, etc. So all we have to teach her is the weaves. Dave is having to learn how to do the weaves despite not knowing how to do those other things (and sometimes getting a crash course so that she can learn those things) so it's a bit harder for her. Also there's a five year age gap between the two which I'm sure factors into it. I'm hoping Dave will catch up soon. I like agility being a whole family affair.

2 for 2 in 2009!

Well FF confirmed that I did indeed ovulate on Friday! Yes! I worked w/o drugs! I'm so excited about this. So now I'm back in the 2WW. Although since my last LP was only 12 days, I guess I'm in a 12DW. My temp dipped today again this cycle. It always throws me off when that happens. But FF still says I ovulated so I'm going to go with that.
More exciting news! Jess over at Life in the White House got a positive beta! This is so awesome. I've not been reading her blog for long but in the short time I have read it, her strength has amazed me. I'm so excited for her. Her next beta is Wednesday so here's to it being an even better number!
The new RE appt is tomorrow! Yikes! I'm looking forward to it mainly though because this time Kevin will be there with me. Also I just *know* this time is going to be different, better. It just has to be. It can't be any worse than Dr. T's office!
Tonight I made a lasagna for the Family Meals Ministry at church. We kept having moms tell us "Thanks, but no thanks," it was crazy. The lasagna doesn't really fit in the disposable pan I bought for it so on my way home from work tomorrow I think I might look for a bigger pan and then figure out a way to transfer it without ruining it. Also I was going to make lava cakes for dessert but now I'm thinking I'm just going to get them some ice cream instead. Easier I think for a mom of 18 month old twins and a 6 month old.

Happy Valentines!

Happy Valentine's Day! I remember back in grade school it was always St. Valentine's Day. I wonder why it changed, or when it did. Or maybe because I was going to catholic school that's what it was called and everyone else has always called it just plain ole Valentine's. Anyways, I hope you all have a great one and that you're able to spend it with the one(s) you love. While I like the idea of Valentine's Day, Kevin and I don't really do too much. A card and maybe dinner. A little over a month later was our anniversary so I always told him to put more effort into March than February. Now that our official anniversary is in September, I'm not sure what to do with March. Last year we still exchanged cards and bought each other presents. Maybe we'll do that this year too. Tonight we're going to go see Taken or The International and then out to dinner. We're thinking about going to a Japanese Steakhouse that's just beyond the mall.
TTC News: My temp is up! Yes! This means that I most likely ovulated yesterday. Yes, I know, you're suppose to wait till three days of a sustained temperature rise but I'm pretty sure of it. Taking into account the EWCM and the ovulation spotting (I found more websites/articles that talk about it and it reads exactly like what I had) I'm like 99% sure. I guess I'll find out on Monday.

Positive Signs

Last night the climbing place that Kevin (and sometimes I) go to had their Valentine's Day party. Also B's (Kevin's usual climbing partner) girlfriend, D, from Phoenix was in town for a long weekend so she came with us. B & D were very cute together.  They're both in their mid to late 40s so they talked about their respective daughters who just had a kid or is pregnant. We ended up staying later than we usually do, even closing out the place at 10:30. On the way home, I made Kevin stop by the Walgreens so that I could pick up a new BBT thermometer.

A funny thing happened when I got home. I had spotting! And not the on-your-underwears kind, just the kind on the TP. It wasn't a lot, really just a few flecks but it was bright red. Of course I went straight to google to figure out what it was and I think it might be ovulation spotting! Yay! But then this morning, my temp was in the normal range for me. On the high side, but still normal. So I'm thinking it's going to be today some time. Yay!

Deffo Egg White

I now know what FF is talking about when they say EWCM. Seriously, I thought I knew and then today when I went to wipe it was like BAM! EWCM! The real stuff, not "this could be EWCM I guess???" that I usually have. Today is CD19, I had ovulated by this point last cycle. Of course it was totally random and could mean nothing. But even so I've already told Kevin to expect BMS tonight. Oh yeah!

Being Boring

I know I haven't blogged in a while, but that's because really nothing is going on here. Today is CD18 and no +OPKs yet. Temps have fluctuated a little but nothing to indicate ovulation. Only 7 more days till my new RE appt. They called me today to request my records from the other RE & my OB/GYN. They also asked me if I've ever had a HSG. Ick.
At work they're talking about a possible furlough in the near future. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Financially, Kevin and I would be okay as we live well within our means, but it still would be a little bit scary.
Lately I've been a little intrigued about embryo adoption. The Catholic church hasn't come out and said not to do it, but they haven't said it's okay. IVF is not an option for us because of my beliefs, however the new RE is suppose to be really IVF focused (according to the brochure) so I'm hoping that he'll be okay with trying to find out what's wrong with me without pushing us towards IVF.
So like I said, nothing too exciting, but I'll try to not wait so long to post next time.

Constant Confusion

That is seriously me these days. AF has been mocking me this cycle. She disappeared completely on CD3 which caused me to POAS on the morning of CD4 because who has a 2 day visit? So I POAS and got a BFN. And because I don't believe the dollar store HPT I do a second one. BFN again. Then AF shows up again on CD4 (barely) and as of right now has gone missing again for CD5. If anyone knows what is going on, please let me know. And really, IB on 12DPO? Is that even possible? And besides, my temps have gone down. Not all the way down, but close enough.
Usually when AF shows up, Kevin changes my morning glass of milk to English tea, however because of this whole fiasco, I'm back to milk. Not that I don't like milk, I just like my cuppa better.
As for ICLW, I'm horrible at it! I stress out over whose blog to comment on and then I stop commenting on the blogs I usually comment on because you can't do what you want when you don't do what you're suppose to do. So now it's the last day and I've only commented on 7 blogs so far. And yes some of those 7 are blogs I comment on anyways. So this is the last month of ICLW for me. I just can't do it.

Cycle the Fifth

CD3. That's where I'm currently at. Sometimes I hate being right. Chicken called me on Sunday to check in and I think she was more disappointed than I was. Although I was prepared for it, the last she had heard about round 4 was that ovulation had been confirmed.
Kevin and I talked about what we should do for this next cycle. We've decided that I'm not going back to Dr. T. My journey with him is over. We are still going to chart and OPK, but we're both concerned that any drugs I take will affect the bloodwork that Dr. G is surely going to want to do. I'll be on CD25 when I go to see him, so if I haven't ovulated by then, I'll be able to start provera and if I have ovulated then I'll only be about 5 days away from a new cycle.
My second IF support group meeting went well. One of the girls that was there in December is now pregnant so Yay! for her. This meeting there were only three other women. They're the ones that started the group. It's a bit weird because they've been meeting for about a year so when they're giving updates they keep having to fill me in with back stories about their experiences/lives. But they've been super nice and welcoming so it's easy to feel very comfortable with each of them. Cool thing about our next meeting is that they've decided not to have it till the end of February so that I'll have any test results from my appointment with Dr. G.
Eek! I only have one week left to get anything done for my January project. I started out so hopeful and I got started right away. But it's fallen by the wayside since those first few days and now there's no way it's going to be all done by the end of January. Does having everything ordered count?