Monday, October 12, 2009

A Garden View Weekend

Last night I didn't get a restful sleep. I kept waking up flipping between taking the test and not taking the test. I didn't know if I could stand seeing another BFN. Plus Kevin said that AF always arrived either the day I tested or the day I was going to test. But I needed to know, so eventually I decided to test.
Kevin stayed in bed when I got up. The dollar store test comes with a little dropper instead of being able to hold it midstream. I collected, I dropped 4 drops and then I waited. And waited and waited and then magically that beautiful 2nd line suddenly appeared.
I immediately burst into tears while thanking God. Then I was fraught with indecision about how to tell Kevin. I mean he knew what I was doing in the bathroom so it's not like I could have just pretended that I hadn't. So I took the test and walked calmly to his side of the bed. I turned on the lamp and showed it to him. Right after he looked at it, he looked at me and I practically shouted "It's positive!"
That whole morning we were floating around the house. We talked about babies and plans. I tell Kevin that I think I am 15dpo cause I think I ovulated on CD19. While we were in Egypt. He starts calling the baby GV. For Garden View - the hotel we stayed at in Egypt had two options: Pyramid view or Garden view. We were assigned the Garden View.Which as you can see was actually a view of a concrete slab, some gross "ponds", dirt and then a bustling major road. Anyhoo, it was an awesome morning.
I called Dr. Grrr as soon as I got to work and they eventually called me back around 8:30. Since it was Friday they're only open a half day so J2 wanted me to get my Beta/P4 blood draw as soon as possible and they would mark it STAT so that hopefully they'd get the results before they closed at noon. I went to the nearest lab and waited impatiently. Finally around 9am my name was called. I got to sit in the room for another 10 minutes and finally someone came in. But I had forgotten to bring my insurance card and so they didn't know if they could do anything. There was some consulting and finally they said they'd do it. I confirmed J2 had sent the order STAT and then went back to work. At 11:50 J2 called me to say that they still hadn't gotten my results but that she'd leave a note for Dr. G. Hopefully if he came into the office he would check for it and call me with the results.
I never got a call. I figured no news was good news right? If there had been any red flags, he would have called right away, right!?!

The morning started like yesterday morning. Me racing into the bathroom to POAS. I told Kevin I needed to check that I was still pregnant. It came up positive again.Yay! I had a tournament this weekend so I had no time to sit around the house today. I was out of the house by 7:30 am and out pretty much all day.
Today are when fears of miscarriage, chemical pregnancies and ectopic pregnancies first appeared. The cramps/twinges/pressure have continued. I'm waivering back and forth on whether this pregnancy is "real". I thought it would be so easy once I saw that BFP. But it's not. I'm still worried and I'm still cautious. How did it work? We've done expensive injectibles, triggers and IUIs and have failed every time. How did Clomid, no trigger and normal se.x work when it didn't work last year. Was it the self-prescribed Baby Aspirin? Then I freak out about that. Should I have told Dr. Grrr about it?

Another soccer game to coach. My team hasn't been doing too well. We've not scored a goal all weekend. We are missing our main offensive playmaker so that's most likely it. Not because I've been distracted by all my pregnancy thoughts.
I took another pregnancy test in the morning. Another BFP!Although I freak out about how it's not getting as dark as fast as it did the previous days. I get home around 11 am and I am starving! I'm starving all the time now. Also I've been peeing up a lake. And the boops have gotten tender. I'm not any sleepier than I usually am during a tournament weekend. I research what I can eat on the internet and settle for cheerios for lunch. Yeah, we're not prepared at all.
After my afternoon nap I have to pee again. When I wipe there's slightly pink EWCM on the TP. I freak. I think my heart stopped in my chest. Of course I wipe furiously a couple (or 10) more times with new TP and nothing else comes up. I start checking every half hour and when I'm doing the weekly grocery shopping it stays in the back of my mind. Kevin is up in DC climbing with friends so it's just me and the dogs at home freaking out. Okay, so just me freaking out.

Finally Monday! I planned to call Dr. Grrr as soon as the office opened at 8:30 but break down and leave a message at 7:59. J2 calls me at 8:33. All excited and congratulating me. I ask for the results and she says "Didn't Dr. Grrr call you?" I tell her no so she looks up the results. Beta was 768 and P4 20.3. She said those were great numbers, kinda high for 15dpo but good nonetheless. I ask if I should get a second beta done and she says that they usually don't do a second one. I tell her about my continued cramping. Then I tell her about the pink EWCM yesterday and she asks if I've had anything else since then. I tell her no. Dr. Grrr isn't in today but he usually calls after getting the beta results so he'll probably call me tomorrow. If he's concerned he'll ask me to come in then. Grrr. Oh and they don't do an u/s until 18 days past a BFP. What!?! That's not till the 27th! I made the appt, but I'm considering calling and asking for the Thursday/Friday before.
According to the "pregnancy starts with AF" theory I'm currently 5 weeks 1 day. I'm 4 weeks 4 days if I go by my CD19 ovulation theory. However since getting the beta results I'm wondering if I'm farther along than I first thought. Could I have possibly ovulated on CD 15/16? I soooooo hate not knowing. Isn't it funny the things that will bug you? I mean, we're only talking about four days, but it's really bugging me.
If I wait till the 27th I'll be 7 weeks 2 days at the u/s. If I can go the Friday before then I'll be 6 weeks 5 days. Either way, we should have a heartbeat and I hope then that I can breathe a little easier if there is one. Please GV have a heartbeat.


Kate said...

Congratulations! I am thrilled for you. What a wonderful story.

~Jess said...

OH MY GOODNESS! EEK! I'm so excited for you guys! In spite of it all, you've got a vacation baby :-)

Enjoy and take care of yourself: Hopefully the dr. will be able to get you in sooner. The first few weeks are so hard *HUGS*

Amanda said...

I was totally not expecting that! What great news!

Squeaky wheel gets the grease, so definitely call earlier if you just can't hold out any longer. Worst that can happen is that they say no.

And I just wanted you to know that I had some cramps and weird feelings early on too, one of my nurses says that's normal while your uterus is adjusting to something being in it.

Great news, keep up posted.

Beth said...

Congratulations!!!! :) I'm so happy for you & Kev. Don't worry, my lips are sealed. :)

Rose's Daughter said...

WOW!! Congratulations!

Lin said...


Hillary said...

EEEK!!! So, so wonderful and so very happy for you. Congrats!

Becky said...

congrats, how exciting for you guys!!!!!!!!

Lucy said...

congrats! such a beautiful second line!

Life Happens said...

Congrats on the BFP!!! How exciting for you guys! I just got a BFP last week too (through IVF) and now struggling with low Beta numbers. But I'm still pregnant for now.

Good luck with the dr appt!

Anonymous said...

you are so right about the fears of miscarriage, chemical preg, etc. I thought it was the just preg test that I had to make positive but now I find myself pleading with God to make the little one stick.

Praising Him for our blessings!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations!!!!!! Yay!!!!!