Early Week Update

Monday I went back into Dr. G's office. I was kind of apprehensive about going in because all weekend I'd been having ovary pains. But on the right side where the wimpy follicle was not on the left side where the two super follicles were. At the u/s we looked at the left side first and Dr. G was not impressed. The follicles had barely grown and in fact more follicles were getting bigger but the two big ones from Friday had pretty much stayed the same size. Then he looked on the right side and that 7mm follicle had jumped to be 12mm! Great growth, but still on the small side considering I was on CD14. Course of action: up my daily injection from 150iu to 225iu and come back on Wednesday for another u/s. Dude! I have a job! I can't keep taking time off to come in for an u/s! But whatever, of course I'm going in today.
So baby news: Last wednesday #25 had their baby. A little boy. They came home on Saturday and put a big stork in their yard. I've already talked to them and mentioned I would like to cook them a meal so I'm waiting for them to tell me when is a good night. Tuesday my co-worker's wife was induced. They're having a little girl. I haven't heard the details yet, but I'm sure pictures of her/them will be posted on the board in the break room (this is what happened last year when two other co-worker's wives had their kiddos).
This spring, the BSC I go to has been working through Beth Moore's Breaking Free: Making Liberty in Christ a Reality in Life. I've been having issues with this study for various reasons but this past week was Week 6 which I had a problem with nearly every day. First off, in the second day in she makes a sweeping declaration that "practically every little girl has at least four dreams: 1) to be a bride, 2) to be beautiful, 3) to be fruitful (which we usually define as having children), and 4) to live happily ever after." As someone who didn't grow up wanting to be a bride or have my own kids, it really rubbed me the wrong way. And yes, I know she said "practically" but it didn't read that way when I first came across it. I know I've changed my mind and I did do the first and am trying to do the third, but it just bothered me. Anyways, I was really interested in what the day that covered topic three was going to be like and it was a mixed bag. There were some great parts, "Infertility offers fertile soil for shame." and accordingly "Remember, shame is Sa.tan's game." Which confirmed decisions I had made for myself about dealing with this whole struggle. But the rest of the daily just seemed dismissive, that while we might not be able to have physical children, we'll be blessed with spiritual children (based on Isaiah 54:1-3). Children who are not our own but who we've been able to help guide and shape spiritually. I've coached, I've taught, mentored and just befriended lot of kids who still keep in touch now that they've become teenagers and young adults. And you know what? It's not the same. Maybe it's just little of me and maybe I'm not opening myself up to what God might have intended for me but I in no way believe that I'm going to be fine with that if Kevin and I go through life being a family of two.

Three more days

My appt was in the morning yesterday. Kevin went with me since it was his work-from-home day. Did I mention that he now gets to work from home one day a week? So unfair. Anyways Dr. G had no problems finding my right ovary. I has one 7mm follicle but he didn't seem too excited about it. Then he found the left and there were two follicles. One was 10mm and the other was 9mm. He seemed to like those better. He then announced that I would need to continue the HMG injections till Monday when I'm suppose to come back in. Frick! I thought I was done.
While we were doing the u/s, they were asking Kev how he was doing with giving the injections. Then Dr. G told us a story about a husband that once threw one at his wife like a dart. Dr. G was laughing so hard he could barely tell the story. It was cute.

I Screamed Like a Girl

Since I was little, I've always loved roller coasters. And the best part of the free fall is screaming all the way down. I've also noticed that if you yell while you're getting a shot, it doesn't hurt as much. Of course, warn the person that is giving you shot that you're going to scream and that they shouldn't panic or think they're doing something wrong. You're just screaming so that you're not thinking about the shot you are enduring. It doesn't hurt as much. At least that's what I've convinced myself.
Tonight was my last HMG shot. No more until next month (if this month doesn't work). All day today I've been having weird ovary pains. At least I think they're ovary pains. Tomorrow I go in for an appt with Dr. G to see what state my ovaries are in and what is the next step. I'm hopefully optimistic.
I'm on square 71 of Chicklet's blanket. I was hoping to have it done this past weekend, but now I'm shooting for this weekend.
I'm so glad it's finally going to be Friday! This week has gone by so slowly. Hope you all have a great weekend.

Making Myself Crazy...

So I totally know I shouldn't do this but I have. I've planned out on my calendar where all the dates fall:

CD1: 4/7/09

HMG: 4/12 to 4/16

CD16: 4/22*

14DP0: 5/6

Chicken's Shower: 5/10

*Usually I ovulate around CD 18-20 when I have an HCG trigger, but I'm thinking it might be earlier since I'm on injectibles this cycle.

This is the last cycle I have before Chicken's baby shower. I know I shouldn't be fixed on this date but I am for some reason. Even if I don't ovulate till CD20 (4/26) that puts me 14DPO on 5/10. Whatever date it is, I'll need to decide if I want to POAS before her shower. Do I want to know that I'm not pregnant at her shower or do I still want some "glimmer of hope" during that weekend? Yes, I know that this might not even be an issue cause we won't know what the HMG is doing until Friday, but I can't help myself.

All Clear...Now

Today was the HSG (Hysterosalpingogram for those of you wondering). I was surprisingly not nervous about it. I showed up about 45 minutes early to get checked in. I got one of those cool patient bracelets. Once that was done I walked myself down to the radiology department. I was in the waiting room, just pulling out my book and they called me up. I then got moved to another waiting room. I settled down and pulled out my book and they called me again. This time I was in the actual x-ray room. I changed, got my book out again and about 5 minutes later, Dr. G walked in.

Once I actually laid down on the table, that's when I got nervous. But Dr. G was great, talking me though everything that he was doing. Even waving gauze at me telling me he was getting ready to use it. It hurt in the beginning, but pretty soon there wasn't really pain, just pressure. I got to see what was happening on a screen. I saw the dye go through the uterus and the fallopian tubes. The left one spilled out pretty fast. All Clear. The right one was a little blocked and Dr. G injected more dye and evenutally it spilled out. All Clear...Now. It was not lost on me that the right ovary has been the power player this whole time and the left ovary reluctant to do much of anything. I just love how my body keeps jinxing itself.

As I was leaving Dr. G made some comment about this cycle possibly working now that we've done this and cleared everything up. I kind of wish he didn't say anything because of course as soon as I got back to work I had to look it all up. According to this website:

There is some evidence that suggests that there is an uptick in fertility for the three cycles after the HSG.

I found some other websites that say the same thing.

The HMG injections started yesterday. They're not that bad. The worst part is the actual injecting the stuff in. It burns! Only three more days though!

In other Monday news: We won our indoor soccer game - 11-1. I scored two goals and had 2 or 3 assists. One assist off a corner I kicked in. Their lone goal came from a kick-off that caught our goalie too far from her line.
Also, we finally filed our taxes! We had to pay around $3,000 because Kevin messed up his withholdings during the year somehow. Did you know that if you owe more than $1000 you have to pay penalties on it? Yikes! This is the first year I've ever had to pay more than a couple hundred! I had my own business before so I got away with owing next to nothing and then with the deductions and write offs, I usually only had to pay a couple of hundred total for the year's taxes (since I was self employed, I didn't make regular payments through out the year like normal people do in their paychecks). Kevin has had the taxes done for ages, but always wants to double and triple check them before he sends them off.

Chicklet's Blanket

I finally started Chicklet's blanket when the family visited. It's cream colored although the photography makes it look white. It's a combination of treble and double crochet clusters, following a flower motif. I'm making little squares and then joining them up to make the blanket. Here's the basic block:
And here's a set of five:
I'm making eight rows of ten, here's the first row:
Doubled to be twenty squares:
And half the blanket (40 squares):
I'm currently on square 65 of the 80. I'm going to put a border around the whole thing. I'm trying not to make it too big. Four years ago, I made one for Tommy K (Wiki's godchild) and it was way too big. If this one gets big as well, I'll make a smaller every day one. As soon as I get to 80 (hopefully this weekend) I'll post an updated picture.

Menses Test

I called Dr. G yesterday to let them know that I was on CD1. They made an appointment for me to come in for a Menses Test. My first though was "Don't you think I know what AF looks like?" It ocurred to me later that it was probably an u/s. And I was right. Everything looks good on both ovaries, although he had trouble finding the right one again. My HMG & HCG still haven't come in yet, so they "lent" me some that I can replenish when my stuff comes in. Of course the HMG has to be given in the behind by Kevin with the big a$$ needle (1 1/2 inches!). I'm suppose to start Sunday and continue till Thursday and then go back in for an u/s on Friday.
I had to remind Dr. G again that he agreed to do an HSG this cycle. I had to remind them yesterday too. Considering that I had to convince them to do it, I'm getting annoyed that they keep forgetting about it. Of course, I know that I have to remember that while I might know my case and history by heart, I can't expect them to know my case the same way. Anyways it's on Monday. I very clearly asked them if I needed to take anything beforehand and they said no! J. said "It will be over in 15 minutes, you should be find afterwards." ooooookay.

Shocker of the Season

You know, that one episode that's totally from left field and when you're done watching, you're kind of like "huh?" Ya, that's me in my IF life. Tonight when I was getting ready for bed I discovered that AF had made her appearance! Talk about unexpected, unwelcomed and unprepared! So now I have to call Dr. G. again. I called him today at lunch and he was not happy that I was not taking Provera. He kept stating over and over again that I was suppose to have started provera two Fridays ago. I should be calling him with news of AF's arrival. Well now I can. I know God has a plan, but really, sometimes I'm at a loss.

Not Sure What to Think Anymore

Okay, recap:
Friday: take 1 provera, get positive OPK;
Saturday: BBT of 98.1 - know that it's possibly higher due to the provera I took the day before.
Sunday: BBT of 97.5 - not great, but not too low
Monday: BBT of 97.2 - really low, my average coverline is 97.8
So that's where I'm at. I'm not sure what to do or think. Did the provera cause a false positive OPK? Did it cause my body not to ovulate? For good or just delay it? Should I stay under the assumption that I did ovulate and do the 2WW? Or do I go ahead and say f*ck it and take the other 9 pills of provera?
Kevin wants to assume that I did ovulate. He says that the OPK was really dark and if my hormones were preparing for ovulation that we should go on that. Also he swears that he was cold last night/this morning and he thinks it is too soon to switch to our summer blankets.

I'm open to any suggestions...

I'm not sure if you've noticed...

But this weekend saw a slew of posts going up. I'm developing this habit of starting a post and then getting really busy so I figure I'll finish it later. Then I think of something else to write and so I start another post the next day and then all of a sudden it's three days later, I've got three unposted unfinished entries and I need to get them out for today's post to make any sense. So yes, they are backdated, but it's the only way I can keep everything organized.
My temp today was not in the optimal area. Lower than I would have liked, but higher than pre-ovulation. So much so that if I do get that rise on Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday, FF will likely decide that I ovulated Sunday instead of Saturday. Then again, if I don't see a rise by tomorrow then I think I'm going to just give up on this one and move on to Cycle #7.
This weekend has been pretty boring for us. A lot of relaxing and watching TV, although I've still not finished watching the finale of ER. I did catch the WPS game and it was pretty good. I didn't realize that Heather M.itts and Kelly Sm.ith were both on the Breakers team. They are both ex-Charge players so I might have to switch my allegiance. We'll see.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Today myDad turns 55! Wow! Hope he has a good one.

No hesitation stabbing me...

I finally got the fax on Tuesday evening. I was able to get a payment method sorted out but didn't send it off till Thursday. I've been kind of weird ending this cycle. Normally when I know a cycle is over, I'm usually wanting to fast track getting the next cycle started but this cycle I've been dragging my feet ending it. Also since my appt last Thursday I've had cramps and twinges on the left side. I just feel like if my left ovary is finally working I should let nature take it's course. It wasn't until yesterday that I finally picked up my provera Rx and I was still hesitant to use it. I knew they were going to ask me about it at the appt this morning so I just broke down and took a pill with breakfast.
The appointment this morning went okay. I can't believe I've gotten to the point where I'll be injecting myself with stuff and have Kevin injecting me with stuff. They had us practice so I got to stab myself with a needle in the stomach. I had to look away. I couldn't watch myself do it, but once it was in, I was okay. Kevin did well giving me a shot on my backside. R. even commented that he showed no hesitation stabbing me with a 2 1/2 inch needle. She said that was really good because it would cause me less pain. I'm not sure how I feel about Kevin not being hesitant. I guess I should count myself lucky. I guess.
Then today when I got home I decided on a whim to take an OPK. And it came out positive! Like right away positive. I was pretty sure that provera wouldn't cause a false positive. So I'm taking it as a sign to not take the provera. If my temps don't have a sustained rise by Tuesday then I'll start the Provera again. And yes I know I can't trust tomorrow's reading because the provera I took this morning will skew it too high. But still I'm hopeful. Also, Kevin wants me to call Dr. G and talk about getting some LP support during this 2ww since I've had short ones before.

HMG, HCG & HSG

Monday morning I got into work determined that I was gonna call R. as soon as possible and find out why she left me such a crappy message. I ended up getting sidetracked, but then R. called me. At first she was totally like "you left me a message on Friday?" and it took a while for her to remember that she called me first. Arg! I have a feeling I'm going to be feeling like that a lot with R. Anyways, she had my results: 0.8! WTF?!? That's like worse than worse. I was hoping for something positive. She said that she called in Provera to my pharmacy, we should order the HMG & HCG and come in that week with Kevin for an injecting lesson. I was like Woah! I told her that before I went and spent all that money on this stuff that I wanted an HSG done first. I figured that I've ovulated twice this year and that nothing has happened so that I wanted to know that all this plumbing worked before we took the plunge into the land of injectibles. She agreed with me and said she would talk to Dr. G.
About two hours later Dr. G called me himself and said that he agreed about the HSG and that once AF came, that I should call and we could schedule the procedure. He then said that he still wants me to do the injectibles. I agreed. About two hours after that, R. called me and wanted my credit card information so that she could order the HMG & HCG. But they only took visa, which Kevin and I don't have. She wanted to fax the Rx to me so that I could call them and arrange payment. My only fax machine is my computer and it's totally not set up to receive anything. I told her that I would be home around 5:35 and could set it up then. She said she would wait and then fax it to me. Well she calls me at 5:20 and says that she's gonna try sending it to me and she thought I would be home by now. Hello! Do you not listen? So I missed the fax. And because I was rushing to get home, I didn't stop by the pharmacy to pick up the provera.
That night was also the second Monday night BSC. I was totally unprepared for it but it was a good class with lots of great discussions. I'm determined to get all the coursework done this week. Also at 10pm I had my second soccer game of the season. It was okay, but we tied 5-5. I only scored once and I don't even think I had an assist. Although I did play a majority of the game which was weird cause we had 6 subs, so we each should have only played half. I guess D. really wanted to win. We were losing at half time and took the lead in the second half. But then with about 5 minutes to go, let them come back with a tying goal.

Weekend Times

Friday night, Dave started barking at something outside our house. Usually she only barks at strangers coming to our door, so Kevin got up to check what was going on. He walked to the front door and saw a women getting out of her car with some grocery bags and a Q.doba bag. She then looked up and said "You're not Mr. #25." Seems she had gone one house too far. She then told Kevin that #25 was on bedrest and that the kiddo was due on 4/15. Kevin told her she could leave her car in our driveway and asked if she needed any help carrying stuff over and she said nope. She reloaded her car, backed out of our driveway, drove across our house and up #25's driveway. Since then I've been thinking about #25 and I think I'm gonna call them up and offer to make a meal (or two or three) for them. I know they always say to wait till after the birth, but I think bedrest makes it kind of hard to take care of things, especially when you already have a 4 year old.

Sunday was opening day for Women's Pro Soccer(WPS)! Yay! I'm so excited. Wiki and I were huge fans of WUSA and so sad to see it fold. I remember that first summer, we watched every televised game faithfully. Wiki was a CyberRays fan (Brandi Chastain fan really) and I was a Philly Charge fan. I just loved Kelly Smith and Marinette Pichon. Pichon was an awesome forward, always finding gaps and sneaking behind defenders and Smith was an awesome midfielder who always found her players. Too bad they weren't American. Also I really like Mark Krikorian's coaching style. I learned a lot about field tactics and positioning players from watching his games.

The second summer of WUSA, the finals (Founders' Cup) were going to be held in Atlanta (about an 7 hour drive from Tampa) in August. Since Wiki's birthday is in August, I decided to buy her a pair of tickets to the finals and my mom paid for the hotel room in Atlanta. Of course Wiki decided to take me. We made of whole weekend of it, met some awesome players (including Brandi Chastain!) and had a great time. Plus at the game, we saw two of our players who just happened to be Trolley's daughters. They were there with their grandparents. We all went to dinner after the game and then drove back down.

The following year, Founders' Cup was in San Diego. Wouldn't you know it, we have family in San Diego! And we got an amazing deal on flights. That year we invited Trolley's daughters along and amazingly she let them come. We had a fun weekend, including taking a trip to the zoo and fitting in a beach trip and flea market trip while going to all the Founders' Cup festivities. JJ and I even won tickets to the Women's World Cup match being held in LA the next month. Of course we knew we couldn't actually make that game so I think we just gave them away.

Right before the WWC 2003, it was announced that the WUSA was folding. Wiki and I were upset, but we kept faith that womens soccer would be back. And finally it is! I've decided to follow the Washington Freedom for 4 reasons -

1. They are an original WUSA team.

2. They have Abb.y Wam.bach.

3. They are geographically the nearest team to me being only 2 hours aways.

4. Kevin bought me a three pack of tickets to their home games, so I gotta support them.

The inaugural match was held in LA and featured LA Sol vs. Washington Freedom. It was an okay game - Freedom lost and Marta didn't get a goal. But still Women's Pro Soccer is finally here!

Cycle the 6th

Okay, so now were on 3/25, Wednesday. This is CD 24 for me. Now that everyone is gone, I can concentrate back on my cycle. My temps have been crazy with some spikes, but never consisitent. I thought I might have ovulated when everyone was here because my temps shot up, but then on Monday & Tuesday they went back down. When Dr. G called with Kevin's results(on CD14) he told me that if I hadn't had a good pattern on my bbt chart by CD25 that I should call him back and let him know. So even though Wednesday was only CD24, it's the 25th and I'm sure I understood him to say to call on the 25th. *wink* I called and they asked me to come in on Thursday.

Thursday I took a long lunch to go to my appt. Thankfully Dr. G's office was very flexible with me on the time of my appt. I got to meet the new nursing assistant(?) R. They did an u/s and found a 12cm follicle on the left ovary. Yay! This is the first time anything has been found on my left ovary. Dr. G couldn't find anything on my right, not even my ovary. He ended up having to do it through my abdomen and sheesh, that hurts! He eventually found it and nothing was there. So he talked to me about injectibles. He said I've already done 5-6 months of Clomid and the Femara (which was a high dose apparently) obviously did nothing for me, so he thinks that this is what I need next. He then looked at my charts (which I decided to bring at the last minute) and said that actually, I might have ovulated on CD11. This was a surprise because I had discounted those high temps because it was so early in my cycle. Counting back, that meant that I was on CD14, so he decided to do progesterone b/w. He asked R. if she wanted to do the blood draw but the way he asked her was like totally in a want-to-do-this-blood-draw-cause-you-don't-really-know-how? kind of tone which took me aback alittle. See I'm all for being a human guinea pig. I'm not particularily squeemish, I have a pretty high tolerance for pain and I realize that everyone has got to start somewhere. But when your doctor is watching and telling the person that is taking your blood that she is doing it all wrong and mentioning rolling veins, then I get a little concerned. He then grabbed another needle/vial and showed her how she should have done it using my left arm as a guide (R. did the blood draw out of my right arm). He didn't actually pierce my skin with the needle, but he got awfully close and while I was prepared to get stabbed once, I wasn't prepared to have it done twice in a row. Anyways, depending on the results of the b/w I was either to start provera (he gave me a Rx before I left) or wait for AF to arrive on her own.

Friday while I was in my lunch meeting R. called me. She left a message and said that she had the results of my b/w and could I call her back? She then said that the office was closing early so I would need to call back in the next 10 minutes. I got the message two hours after she left it at 2:00pm. I was so annoyed! Even if she can't tell me the results the least she could have done was tell me if I needed to fill the Rx or not. Now I would have to wait till Monday to even do anything! Arg.

In A Family Way

Let me take you back in time. To 13 days ago - St. Patrick's Day. A friend, S, from my ISG is opening a new store and I went to the store opening. It's such a cute shop! I'm excited for her and her husband. Also while talking to S, she mentioned that she would like to join my bible study class(BSC) the following week. I was all sorts of excited and when I went to the BSC I told the organizer about it. Then they announced that the class originally scheduled for 3/24 would actually be the day before. Oh no! This meant I would miss the class because the family would be around, but also meant that I would miss S' first class. I was so upset. I emailed them to let them know I would be missing. They also moved the class that was suppose to be on 3/31 to today, but this one I can go to so I'm looking forward to going back - although I haven't done any of the weekly readings. Oops!
Two days later, Thursday, Wiki and I are out running errands when the "incident" occurs. I'll tell you more about this later though. I've still not wrapped my mind around it. We picked up my parents from the airport. Later we went to agility at the new agility place. The new building is huge and since it's a new place, very distracting. Les tried Kevin's patience, but we got some great pictures out of it. Dave was great for me. Ah, the benefits of having an older dog. :)
Friday we had a family shopping day. Kevin tried to get out of it, but I reminded him how he forces me to go on his family outings even though I have tried repeatedly to get out of them. I told him to think of these shopping trips as my family's version of going on big walks. So he came with us and was agreeable the whole day! We spent most of our time in Ko.hl's. I love that place. He even bought himself two shirts, a jumper, shorts & a hat! All I got was one shirt and some towels for the downstairs loo. Sheesh! Bonus though, we found a bathroom kit that we both liked right away, which is rare, so we're gonna go back and get it.
Saturday we went to Colonial Williamsburg for the day. Kevin and I had been wanting to go for a while, but everytime we had visitors, they always wanted to do other things. We got summer passes though, so we're hoping to go again during the summer. It is really a neat place and I'm itching to visit Jamestown now.
Sunday we had family portaits done. Last year, Kevin and I got them done with Dave & Les, but that place has closed down. Blast that economy! Anyways, this year we went to a place around the corner. No pets allowed! :(
Monday I went to work but everyone else went on a tour of battlefields near RVA. Then after work, I had my soccer game. D, the team manager, never got back to me to say it wasn't okay that Wiki played, so I took her anyway. It was a good thing though! As of game time, we only had 7 players ready to play. And we play 7v7! Eventually 4 other players showed up, so we had subs. The new players all seem to be good. We ended up winning 9-0. I was able to score twice and got 3 assists. Wiki didn't score but said she had some assists. Afterwards we went out to dinner.
Tuesday I got up at 4am to drive Wiki to the airport followed by Kevin with my parents in the car. Their flights out were at 6am! I then came back home and crawled back into bed until it was time to go to work.
So all in all a good time, very tiring, but lots of fun. And now you're only 6 days in the past.

Return of the KMO!

Yes I'm back. It's been almost 2 weeks since my last post, and it's not cause I don't have anything to tell you all. Things have been crazy with the visiting family and then I spent the rest of that time just catching up - laundry, yardwork, sleep! Yikes! But I'm back and I've got a few things to share with. I won't launch into them all now, cause it's late and I don't want to bore you with a long rambling post, but I will share in the coming days.
In my absence, I've done a poor job of keeping up with you all as well. I'm sorry! Work has been crazy busy lately as we're getting ready to launch a new product so very little free time on the internets. I'm still catching up with most of you, but I should be back on track by the end of the week. I hope!
Have a good week!

Wiki has landed!

Wiki just texted me from the airport and her plane has landed. Kevin is picking her up since he works near where we live (within 3 miles!). It's a 1/2 hour to the airport for both of us from where we work, but it would take me another 35 minutes to get back to work after dropping Wiki off. I'm so excited. I even got myself up and out of bed in time to get to work at 7am just so that I could leave an hour early. She's had to fly all night so I'm sure she's way tired.

Tonight we're going to go climbing and we don't have much else planned yet. I guess we'll just have to wait and see when my parents get here tomorrow!

Results

Dr. G called yesterday with results from Kevin's SA. Apparently it wasn't really an SA, it was a 24 hour motility test. Everything is fine though and Kevin is not the reason why it's taking us so long. He was happy.

I've been adding pictures to some previous posts that you might want to check out:

3/2/09 - Sticky - Snow in RVA!

2/12/09 - I Can't Get My Fix! - my thermometer AD (after Dave)

12/30/08 - A pleasant surprise - the flowers that Auntie L sent us

I've got more, which I'm determined to get up soon. I might as well have something for you all during this "break" of mine.

So remember how I was saying that one of the reasons why I joined the women's indoor team again was so that Wiki and I could play together? Yeah, well it turns out that it might be a problem now. I'm so annoyed. A doesn't think it will be really, but D (the team manager) wants to make sure that everyone is okay with this and won't get upset because they're losing playing time that they have paid for. Pffft. So she put it out to the team to decide. I guess this is the considerate thing to do.

Ooooh! Congrats to Kirke at Maybe I will have a glass for having two great betas! I tell you, this KU thing is catching (hopefully!)

Random

This cycle has been one of the weirdest that I've had in a while. Ever since the start of this cycle, I've had these sharp pains in my right ovary (I think) throughout the days. Finally a couple of days ago it suddenly stopped. I took an OPK but it came out negative. And then the next morning my temperature was 97.8°. I normally only get temps that high when I've ovulated, but I knew that this temp had to be a blip. This morning's temp was higher than normal, but not high enough I think. So I think I'm good. I'm anxious to see if Femara works for me.
I had my infertility support group meeting today. I always look forward to these meetings because it's a great group of ladies. We all have different stories and circumstances but we have this common thread.
Kevin and I have recently started watching the Col.bert Rep.ort and the Dail.y Sho.w with J.on Ste.wart. They're actually quite amusing. I didn't think I would like them since they're pseudo-news but I can see why they're becoming more mainstream.
Only four days till Wiki gets here. Only five days till my parents get here. Also, this week is only a four day work week. Yay!

Baby Shower.

I just took my last Femara pill. I forgot to take it during dinner (I pop all three pills at once) so I had to have strawberries and cream so that I would have food in my stomach. :P
Kevin is doing his SA tomorrow. The RE isn't that worried about it cause he said the PCT was really good.
Chicken has set a date for her baby shower. It's Mother's Day - like actually on Sunday. When she called to tell me I was kind of caught off guard. First, I thought it was going to be in June and second cause I thought it was going to be on a Saturday. Since I was going to be traveling (cause I think I'm the only out-of-towner) Saturday was going to be easier.
Anyways, when she called, I was like "Ooh, I don't know, I'll have to check." But now I'm freaking out that she might think I'm not looking forward to it because of IF and not that I was concerned about the travel aspect. They're doing it on Sunday because Chicklet's dad's family will all be around for someone's graduation on Saturday so Mother's Day is the most convienent day for them to do it and get the greatest response. I looked online and found flights for $57 each way! Yes! So I got them and now we're good to go.
Back when we first talked about the baby shower, Chicken was tossing around April and June - I voted for June because at the time we were going away sometime in April and also because June gave me more time to get pregnant. Not that I wanted to steal Chicken's thunder, I just thought it would have been neat. Now that it's May - it's only one month earlier - but I feel so much more pressure to be pregnant by then. I'm not sure why, it's not like anyone at her shower would pressure me. All of our mutual friends are still single so they're not thinking about having kids and it's easy to deflect inquiries when it's coming from a total stranger. But still this means I have maybe two cycles left before the shower. Like somehow if I'm not pregnant by this shower or by the time Chicklet is born, I won't be able to be a great friend. Almost like I can forgive her for having an unexpected accidental baby, but only if I (who will have been trying earnestly for 9 months by then) get mine at the same time. How wrong is that? I know I shouldn't feel this way and I don't really, not now anyway. But I think I might if things work out that way. I really don't want to become that person.

A bit of this and that

I'm not really sure what to write. Nothing is really going on, so this is probably going to be very stream of consciousness. I'm CD7 today. I've been having these strange twinges/pains on what feels like my right ovary. I've been having them for the past few days. I'm not sure what's up but I've half convinced myself it is a cyst. I've not been feeling any side effects from the Femara or Metformin. But I didn't feel any side effects from the Clomid either so I'm not concerned about that.
So even though I've had my head in the sand for the past 6 months or so and didn't realize that 3 of my neighbors are pregnant, I've been seeing them all over now. I saw #43 with her husband and dog out walking twice since Monday. The other day Les got out from the back yard and #42 came over to let us know. And now I'm seeing #25 all the time when we're out in the back yards. Today when Kevin and I were eating dinner on the deck, she was out grilling up some sausages. It's all a bit surreal. On one hand it's cool that there are going to be three kids in the neighborhood all a similar age to mine (I hope!) but even if I get pregnant this month, these kids will all be a year ahead of mine.
Kevin and I have decided that we're not going to be actively TTC this cycle. I've got three reasons and yes, they're all a bit selfish. They're all based on the assumption that I'll ovulate around CD18. One: Our trip in September. Although I wouldn't mind being 6 1/2 months pregnant while on this trip, for some reason 5 1/2 months seems more manageable. Two: I've always been slightly annoyed that my birthday is so close to Christmas. I always felt jipped when presents would be combined birthday/holiday gifts or holiday related. Why would I do that to my kid? Three: Wiki and my parents will be here right around ovulation which would kind of freak me out. Also our wakeup/bedtime schedule is going to be all screwed up and I don't want to add stress to what is already a stressful time.
So while we're not actively TTC, we're not going to stop altogether. I wanted to take meds because I'm ovulating so far, I don't want to slip backwards to my non-ovulating days. And I'll continue to take the metformin. Who knows, maybe I'll be better prepared in April. But what will happen will happen.
Also a big congrats to Erin at Seriously!?!?! She just had her baby boy last week! He's so cute! I haven't been reading her blog for very long, in fact I just found it a couple of weeks ago. But I stayed up late to catch myself up and it's a very good read. Again, congratulations!

Don't call me. Wait! Do call me!

When we had the big appointment with the RE, he stated that if he didn't call me back for some reason that I should call him. Give him about two hours and if he nor the nurse nor Ms. J calls me then I'm to call them again. I took this policy very liberally this week.
Monday: During the snow storm of the century I call the office to let them know that I started spotting the day before. Dr. G had left a message stating that the office was open, he was the only one in though and so to leave a message. So I did. That was about noon. Dr. G called me at 9 pm (he did warn in his meeting that if he's going to call, he usually calls late). He wanted me to get b/w done the next day. I told him that Monday was only CD1, but he said it was CD2 if I started spotting on Sunday. I told him it started on Sunday night and it was very light, but he didn't seem convinced. So he asked me to fax him my charts (he makes me do them on his chart sheet, no FF) on Tuesday morning.
Tuesday: Fax the charts over around noon (cause I needed time to actually do them all) and then called to confirm that they got them. They called me back around 4 pm to say Dr. G wanted me to get the b/w done today. I called the lab and found out they closed at 5. There was no way I was going to be able to get out of work early to make it to the lab so I called Dr. G's office back and asked if there was somewhere else I could go because I wasn't going to make it to the lab before they closed. They said if I went first thing on Wednesday morning, that I could wait till then.
Wednesday: I got to the Lab about 7:25am (they open at 7am) and it was packed! Some people on the list had signed in before 7! Nice to know for next time. Waited 35 minutes to be seen, blood draw took about 5 minutes including signing all the forms and paying and then I was out of there and only 15 minutes late for work.
Thursday: Called Dr. G's office and asked if they'd gotten my results yet. Ms. J answered and said yes they had. She'd put my file on his desk and he would most likely call me that evening to let me know what was up. No call from Dr. G.
Friday: Didn't get a call all day so around 4:45 I finally called the office. Dr. G answered and it took him a while (4 minutes! I checked my phone timer) to find my file. Said that my b/w came back normal, I didn't think to ask him if it was normal for a regular lady or normal for someone with PCOS. I said okay and then asked him what the plan of attack was for this cycle. He asked me if I had started metformin yet and I said no, I never got the Rx for it. He said he'd call it in and then gave me the spiel about starting out slowly. He asked me if I had only been doing Clomid before and I said yes, but that it took 150mg to get me to ovulate. So he decided that I'm going to do Femara (2.5mg) this cycle. He didn't say anything about triggering or an u/s and I didn't think to ask. I was just happy to actually get a Rx at that point. He asked for my pharmacy # and said he'd call them in. I was working late so I called my pharmacy at 5:30 to find out if they had my Rx's yet. They hadn't gotten it yet. I called at 6 when I was leaving work, they still didn't have it but said they that they hadn't checked their messages since 5:30 and they usually get a bunch right after the dr.'s offices close, so to call back at 6:30. I called back at 6:25 and they had my Rx and said it would be ready at 7:00. I asked if when I needed to start the Femara (Dr. G didn't tell me) and they said Day 5 which was yesterday. Kevin went climbing last night so since he would have to pass the pharmacy on his way he picked them up. The weren't ready till 7:30 which was annoying, but he waited. So around 10 pm last night I took my first metformin and Femara.
Side note: The warning stickers on the side of the Femara bottle are pretty funny. One of them says: "Do Not Use This Medicine If You Are Pregnant Or Plan To Become Pregnant" and the other says "Keep Out Of Reach Of Children." WTF! I'm taking these pills to get pregnant and have kids! What kind of sick joke is this?

AF, Agility and Soccer

Do you find that even though AF shows up, you somehow justify her presence as something other than another failed cycle. Lately, I try to find any excuse/cramp/twinge as a sign that this is just random and that I really am KU. Intellectually I know that it's over, but emotionally it always takes me like a week to get it. And it doesn't help that the past few cycles AF has been kinda flighty and barely even here. What happened to my nice normal visits?
In other news, Dave has completed Level 4 and now she and Les are back in the same classes. She'll only be going to one Level 5 class a week though because my bible study group is starting their next session next week. Actually we were suppose to start this week, but the snow has postponed everything. Anyways, it's on Tuesdays so Dave is just gonna have to work twice as hard on Thursday's Level 5. Our other class of the week is going to be Wednesday's Level 3 class. I'm bringing Dave down a level to work on some of those missing fundamentals that she doesn't have yet. I'm hoping in the long run it will benefit her.
I use to play on a co-ed and womens 30+ indoor soccer teams last year. I started in March with the co-ed team for the spring session. A co-worker of mine, A, wanted to put together her own team so she asked me to play as well as two other co-workers and the husband of another co-worker. It was a lot of fun and we did well, going undefeated during the season and even winning the EOS tournament.
The team decided to move up a division for the next session in June and then A asked me to be on a womens 30+ team she played on. I said okay and so over the summer, I played on both teams. Towards the end of the season, I noticed a shift in the attitudes and friendliness of the other players on my co-ed team. Towards me. Now I'm not the best player. The last time I played competitively I was about 75 lbs. lighter and even then, I was never a starter. However I am a damn good cherry picker. Give me the ball in the upper quarter and I'll get it in the back of the net. Now the team was still good, undefeated in regular season (and went on to win the EOS tournament again). About a week before the regular season ended, A told me that the team was disbanding. Several players were joining other teams or just taking a break. I said okay, sad that the team was not going to be any longer, but thankful to at least have my women's team.
Then a little birdie told me that actually the team wasn't disbanding, they just didn't want me on the team anymore. See they were planning on moving up a division again and pretty much thought of me as dead weight. I was devasted. And not because of being dropped. I could accept the choice they made both as a player and as a coach, what upset me so much was that A lied to me. To my face, a stupid and really bad lie. I had thought A and I were becoming friends, even going to lunch a few times a month and hanging out after work. At that point I could understand having to do what she did as the captain/manager, but she shouldn't have lied to me. Honestly if they had told me that they were moving up a division, I probably would have bowed out at that point. I knew in my heart of hearts that I would have never been able to keep up.
However by the time I found out what really happened, I had already signed up (and paid) to play again on the womens 30+ team and so I couldn't back out of it. I considered changing teams within the league, but really I didn't want to have to explain to that team captain/manager that I no longer wanted to play with her star player. So I played the Fall session. The team dynamic had also changed. I had issues with how certain players (not A) played the game and how vocal they got towards me and other players. I didn't really like playing with them and I didn't really want to play with A anymore. Things were a bit tense but I lived through it and at the end of the season I claimed some excuse for not playing in the holiday or winter session and said that if I did come back that it wouldn't be until the 2009 summer session.
Back in January, A approached me one day at work (we never talk anymore, only when we have to for work) and asked if I was able to come back to the womens team yet. She lamented that the team couldn't score anymore. I was noncommital and just shrugged it off. Then about a month ago she asked me again. I was missing playing at this point and had been considering signing up. My plan at that point was to sign up as a single player and then be assigned to another team. So I told her that I might and that to let me know when sign-ups were closer and I would probably do it. I figured she would "forget" and I could just say that I wanted to play again and since I never heard back from her, I joined another team.
Well last week she told me that our 30+ league was turning into a 25+ league. Also they were splitting the league up into two divisions, competitive and recreational. The team we played for was doing the recreational side. She also mentioned that players couldn't play in both divisions so that we were losing a few players because of that. The players mentioned were some of the players that I didn't like playing with. I started to reconsider. Yesterday she sent me an email asking if I was able to play on the team or not. The season starts in two weeks so they needed to build the roster. I went to talk to her and asked her if it was possible to put Wiki on the team so that she could play in the game while she was here and A said it would not be a problem. So I went ahead and signed up. Afterwards she said something about if the team does well, then they'll move up for the summer session, so I can use that as an excuse to move teams (if need be) claiming that I want to stay in rec. She also mentioned that one of our former co-ed teammates was also going to be on the team. I'm not looking foward to that, but hey at least I'll be playing again, and I've got a better exit strategy.

Sticky

Yesterday while we were at
mass, it started snowing. Nothing different than other times it has snowed in RVA, but kinda weird cause it's March. While Kevin and I were sitting at IHOP, I commented that it was too bad that the snow wasn't sticky. At that point the ground and streets were still clear and unsnowed. We went back to the house, did house things and then around 4:00 got ready to do our weekly grocery shopping. We took one step outside and ended up in a winter wonderland! There was snow everywhere! My car was covered and everything was white! It was crazy! I wanted to move my car into the garage, so Kevin went to the shops by himself while I brushed off the snow off my car, moved it into the garage and pulled out all our snow gear. While I was out I saw #36's dad and kid and #54's kid out trying to sled in the snow. Now our street does rise, but its pretty gentle so if you don't have some kind of momentum already, you're not going to go pretty far or fast. We, however, live at the top of a hill from the street. So I told them if they wanted to that they could use our drive way. They did for a few hours and then went home. We even had some fun and Kevin and I went out about 10 pm and did some sledding ourselves.

Well, this morning all the neighborhood kids made the trek with their sleds, disks and snowboards to the top of our driveway and completely compacted the snow! Then the parents built an embankment on the street so that the kids could turn onto the street and keep going! Some of the kids
were making it to two or three houses down the block from our driveway. We had kids and parents coming from other neighborhoods to slide down our driveway. In the evening, #36 brought out their fire pit and #30 brought s'mores suplies and we all camped out. It was a lot of fun. However in the course of the evening, I found out 3 of my neighbors are pregnant and due in the next couple of months. My next door neighbors(#25), my next door next door neighbors(#43) on the other side and the neighbors(#42) across the street from them. Even Kevin was a little shaken by the news. I seriously had no idea!

And speaking of unexpected, AF showed up last night as well. I kinda knew it was coming but I was hoping that it at least hold off till tomorrow. This means that I only had an 11dpo which is on the short side and could mean an LPD. I called Dr. G and he called me back around 9:30 pm. I'm to fax him my temps tomorrow morning and then he's going to decide when I need to get b/w done.

One good point, I guess, is that Kevin and I are definitely off to Egypt in September. We booked the cruise and flights today so there's no backing out now. We were holding off till we knew how this cycle went, because I didn't want to be 7 1/2 months along and trying to get around Egypt. So we decided not to book it until we knew this cycle was a bust. Truth be told, I'd have given up Egypt in a second.

Oh, FYI: Chicklet is a girl! Yay!

A Family Affair

Text message exchange between Kevin and myMom yesterday:

myMom: "The Mo parental units would like to invade the Maz residence at the same time as Wiki is that OK"
Kevin: "That would be fine, although someone will have to sit out when we play Rock Band."
myMom: "I can be the crazy fan"

So it seems that I've now got to entertain the whole family! For a week! I'm trying to figure out how to swing some time off while still having time for Kev's and my big trip. Kevin has it easy, because he gets one more week of vacation than I do, but I'm sure he was planning on using that time for when his parental units came into town. I guess we'll just figure something out.

RR called me! She called the house yesterday and luckily Kevin got the message pretty early because he was home making carrots for Caritas. I was able to call her after work and we're spending the day together hanging out in DC. While on the phone we realized that the last time we saw each other was for our grandfather's 75th birthday celebration. That was in May 2001. Wow! Almost 8 years ago! Wow!

I'm a Saboteur!

Remember how I posted about Les possibly making it out of Level 4 before Dave did? Well it happened. On Tuesday. At the end of a horrible class on Tuesday (Dave and I are NOT returning to any classes taught by that woman again!) the instructor approached Kevin and said that Les was good to move on to Level 5 but that Dave was not. Did he want his card, or did he want to wait till Dave was ready? Kevin took the card but told her Les would stay in Level 4 till Dave was ready to move up too. This is what we had already decided before the class. Knowing what was going to happen, I asked Kevin last week what we would do if Les advanced out. We only have one "dog" car so it would mean all four of us hanging around for 2 hours while each dog had their turn. He decided that both dogs would just wait for each other to both advance out of the class. The instructor(a different one) last night said that Dave prolly only has one or two more weeks before she'll be ready.

Anyways, yesterday as we were loading into the car, I closed the door after the dogs had jumped into the back seat and immeadiately, Les turned to me with a look on her face like "You eeeeeee-diot! You've just shut the door on me!" I opened the door right away and tried to get her to come out of the car so I could figure out if I caught her foot or her tail but she didn't want to come out. I finally had to reach in and lift her out. As soon as I put her on the floor, she turned around and got back in the car. There was no way she was getting left behind just cause she got hurt! She reminded me of past soccer players that roll their ankle or take a bad fall but get up and keep going because there's no way they're giving anyone an excuse to pull them off the field. So we went to class. Les didn't have the best class. She was a little shaken up, favoring one of her back legs - I couldn't tell which - and not doing well. Dave on the other hand had a stupendous class! But I'm not sure if it's because she really was on par last night or if it was because Les was not her usual stellar self so Dave didn't pale in comparison. Afterwards Kevin accused me of sabotaging Les so that Dave would look good. He was only joking, but I still felt bad.

**********

Yesterday when I noticed my temps going down, I commented to Kevin that we were going to have to make sure that we cuddled and slept right next to each other so that my temperature would be nice and high in the morning. I was kidding because I know that cuddling and being hot doesn't stop the progesterone from petering out, only being pregnant does. However last night I woke up in the middle of the night super hot! Kevin was like right next to me! I scooted over on the bed and went back to sleep and like 5 minutes later, woke up again because Kevin has moved closer! Soon I was right on the edge of the bed, trying to keep the covers on me and not fall off. I eventually had to do a "cat stretch" which pushed Kevin away and re-established my bed space. I woke up to take my temp like normal and Kevin asked what it was. 98.23°! He had this huge grin on his face, proud of doing his part in keeping my temperatures high. I didn't have the heart to tell him the high temp was probably due to interupted sleep and moving around more than usual. But still a high temp is a high temp, one that can keep the hope alive for one more day. But still, for you chart stalkers out there, take no stock in the high temp this morning. I have managed to sabotage my own BBT chart.

******

btw, that "You eeeeeee-diot!" from earlier is totally to be read like Ren always tells Stimpy.

8DPO and visits

Today is 8DPO and I have to say I'm not feeling too excited. I'm mentally preparing myself for AF because I'm just that sure that this cycle wasn't the one. It's always weird but I spend the first week of the 2WW optimistic and hopeful that it worked. And then when the 2nd week starts and I see my temps going down (albeit slightly) it's like someone let all the air out of the balloon. It sucks! So now I guess I wait. 12DPO is next Tuesday. We'll see how I feel then.
My sister, Wiki is coming to visit! I'm sooooo excited! I haven't seen her since my wedding! She lives in Colorado so it makes it hard, but we talk on the phone every day, sometimes even twice a day. I remember when Kevin and I first moved away, he was astounded by how much my sister and I talked and that we called each other multiple times during the day. It took him a while to get over it, although now I will retreat into another room to talk when she calls. I love listening in to people talking on the phone and in my head guessing what the other person is saying. I guess I just figured Kevin liked doing that too. Not!
Two weeks ago, Wiki lost her job. She was a corporate trainer for a national company and they had a "reduction of workforce" and my sister was one of the affected. It sucks! She was just getting her head above the water and now she might sink back under. She had a series of moves that caused her not to have a steady income for a really long time (14 months!) and that ate up her savings and put her into debt. Hopefully she'll be able to find a new job soon, one just as awesome as the one she had before (she really liked her job).
One good thing that came out of the awful mess is that she's coming into town! I had a $200 credit at Jet.Blue so I decided to fly her out here. Luckily she had a break in her soccer schedule (yes, she's a coach too!) so everything worked out. She's going to be here for 3 work days so I need to figure out what I'm going to do with work/her.
Speaking of visits, one of my cousins, RR, is coming to DC this weekend. RR is 2y5mos younger than me but growing up we were always really close. She was the good one and of course I was the troublemaker. But we got along because most times she would just do/play what I wanted. Yes, I was a brat when I was younger. Anyways, a couple of years before we moved to Florida, her family moved away (still in Texas, just 14 hours away!) so we only got to spend summers together when her family would visit our grandfather. We stayed close throughout high school but then college life started and I was distracted and then she went away to college and we never really got that bond back. We both lived in Ohio at the same time but on opposite ends so we didn't really connect then either. When we see each other we're still good, but it's sad to say that I don't think of her often, usually only when I see a status updated on faceb.ook. In fact, that's the only reason why I knew she was coming into town. Because she said something in her status and so I wrote on her wall. I'm not even that confident that we are going to be able to connect. I guess we'll just have to see.

36 Years Strong

Today is myMom and myDad's 36th wedding anniversary! Woohoo! They got married at the ripe old ages of 19 (myMom) and 18 (myDad). There's even a story (which I'm not sure is true or not) of my grandmother going with myDad to get the wedding license because they wouldn't give him one cause he was still in high school (he was behind a couple of years).
My parents are truly role models for me in life, marriage and parenting. They are both great people that have sacrificed their whole lives for me and Wiki, love spending time with us, love anything we love (pets, friends and husband).
I also look to their marriage as a guide. My parents were always a united front inside the home and out. They never fought in front of anyone, even us - that's not to say that they never lost their temper with each other out in the open, but they would agree to "talk about it later."
One thing I love about their parenting was again that united front. If one said no, then the other would stand by it. My sister and I knew how to work the system to get what we wanted, but we knew that no meant no. Even if one of our parents were being unreasonable (known to happen at times) and we actually got the other parent to agree with us and agree to talk to the other about it, it was ultimately up to the original parent to change their mind, they never overrode each other in front of us.
The other quality I hope to translate into my own family is their ability to stick to their own goals to better themselves while still sacrificing to make our family better. myMom was working her first full time job and my dad a junior in high school when they got married. Six months later, Wiki showed up (I know!). I was born four years later. However in the past 36 years, they were able to both earn their degrees, my mom even getting her masters, while sending Wiki and I to catholic schools and private university. They understood that to get what they wanted from life for all of us, we need to leave their hometown and huge families. But now, they now live in their dream(ish) house and enjoy the life of empty nesters, eagerly awaiting their turn to be doting grandparents.

Ca-Winky-Dink

So if I had never gone to the RE this cycle, I would totally be crapping myself right about now. I'd be 10 DPO with a implantation dip followed by a definite triphasic pattern on my BBT chart.
But it turns out that the "implantation dip" was an ovulation dip. And yes FF did eventually correct itself, but not till the actual day of real ovulation. So we would have missed this cycle or had a really low chance. Same as what happened back in October. What a "coincidence" that we happened to go to the doctor the day before I actually ovulated this cycle.
I've always told myself not to worry too much about plotting out the future, that with God's grace things have a way of working out on their own and I've kind of just gone with the flow. That's not to say that I don't take a proactive approach to situations & problems, but I totally realize that I can't will myself into being pregnant. I've just got to have faith that I WILL have a family of my own, wait and keep praying.
Note: This is not the same as "just relaxing" about the whole situation.

Scientific Fact!

So Kevin and I hardly ever argue. We have 99% of the same beliefs and values which is surprising considering that we have totally different backgrounds. There really hasn't been an issue that has divided us.
Anyways we do have totally inane discussions to feed our need to debate. Today our discussion was about flatulence. That's right, farting. Anyways, Kevin was trying to tell me that farting was directly related to some one's need to have a poo. I scoffed and said they weren't related and that farting was gas emissions from the bacteria living in your small and large intestines building up and then being released. Just because you have gas doesn't mean you need to take a dump. Kevin then starts stating scientific fact. No, not reasonable, well researched scientific facts to back his argument up. He actually says "Scientific fact. Scientific fact. Scientific fact!" as his argument. *sigh*
Such is the life I lead...

Ovulation v2.0

Yesterday's appointment went well. Dr. G was dissappointed that I didn't do an OPK. First he did another ultrasound and couldn't find Mr. Follicle. At one point he asked "Was it on the right or left ovary?" and Ms. J responded that it was on the right. He said that he couldn't see it and so had another look. But it wasn't there anymore! It's a good thing we had this appt! Otherwise we would have completely missed this month because I thought I had ovulated back on Friday. Next was the PCT. We gathered around the microscope and I got to see the little swimmers! I didn't think to ask if it was a good sample or not but both he and Ms. J seemed pleased.
My temp this morning shot up! Even higher than on Saturday. So now we wait. The 12DW to be exact.
On a happy note, it looks like Valeta had her baby! He's soooo cute! And I think he came on his due date which is awesome. Yay for baby!

FF is wrong!

Whew! Yesterday was a busy day. First was the RE appt.
Dr. G is definitely what you would call a character. He was much more animated than Dr. T and also more thorough. He asked us all sorts of questions about our family histories and about what course of treatment I had been on before. It felt like what an RE appt should feel like. He was excited to learn that I've been doing bbt for the past four months and even wanted to see the charts. Of course I didn't actually bring them with me. I printed out all my charts when I went to go see Dr. T the first time and even updated my file on subsequent visits but Dr. T hardly even glanced at them during the first appt and then never even asked me to see them after that. I didn't bring them with me this time so of course Dr. G wanted to see them! Then he decided to show us a video of past surgeries he's done to show us various problems. While he was pointing stuff out, he suddenly looked at Kevin and asked him if the room was getting hot. I looked at Kevin and he was loosening his collar and rolling up his sleeves. Dr. T told him he could lie down on the floor if he needed to and Kevin actually did it! The video was making him queasy! I didn't believe it at first but then I looked at his face and could see it. This is the man who can watch countless scary movies with guts, blood and gore. He can play tons of assassin type video games but he couldn't watch a video of an abnormal uterus/fallopian tubes/ovaries! I so wanted to laugh but I held it in.
Next came the exam. Which was a novelty because Dr. T never even did one. And he didn't have my records from my regular OB/GYN because they didn't fax them in time. So WTF? I was telling Dr. G that because of my temp rises, FF thought I ovulated on Friday. He said he didn't think so because I still had really good CM. Next we did an u/s and Bam! Sitting right there on the right ovary was a big a$$ follicle waiting to pop! He found a few cysts on the left ovary but he didn't seem to be too concerned about them. He told me to take a OPK test yesterday, but with everything going on, I forgot. Then this morning when I put in my new temp, FF took away my ovulation.
Afterwards we came up with a plan of attack. Since he thinks I'm going to ovulate soon, he wants to try to get this cycle in. We're going to do a PCT today and if I need a trigger then I'll get that. Also he wants me to try to lose 40 lbs and go on Metformin. He mentioned doing another round of Clomid or possibly Femara. I'm feeling really positive now about the whole RE situation. I'm so glad I switched.
I found a bigger lasagna pan at the store so Kevin and I tried to figure out how to transfer the lasagna without destroying it. We couldn't do it so we just dropped the smaller overflowing pan into the bigger pan. When I arrived at the family's house, I got out of my car, walked over to the passenger side and the door was locked. I fished in my pockets for my keys and they weren't there! I looked inside the car and there are my keys sitting in my purse. Arg! I've only ever locked my keys in the car twice and one of those times wasn't my fault! So I had to go up to the house and call Kevin to come open the doors. Luckily he took a half day like me so he was available but I was so mad at myself. After about 25 minutes he arrived and we were able to rescue the items. I was so embarrassed. Hopefully the next family will go smoother.
We also had agility last night and I think Les might advance out of the class before Dave does. Even though Dave has been doing this longer, Les has an edge on her. Because she learned everything in the school, she knows certain basics like nose touches, focus forwards, driving the line, etc. So all we have to teach her is the weaves. Dave is having to learn how to do the weaves despite not knowing how to do those other things (and sometimes getting a crash course so that she can learn those things) so it's a bit harder for her. Also there's a five year age gap between the two which I'm sure factors into it. I'm hoping Dave will catch up soon. I like agility being a whole family affair.

2 for 2 in 2009!

Well FF confirmed that I did indeed ovulate on Friday! Yes! I worked w/o drugs! I'm so excited about this. So now I'm back in the 2WW. Although since my last LP was only 12 days, I guess I'm in a 12DW. My temp dipped today again this cycle. It always throws me off when that happens. But FF still says I ovulated so I'm going to go with that.
More exciting news! Jess over at Life in the White House got a positive beta! This is so awesome. I've not been reading her blog for long but in the short time I have read it, her strength has amazed me. I'm so excited for her. Her next beta is Wednesday so here's to it being an even better number!
The new RE appt is tomorrow! Yikes! I'm looking forward to it mainly though because this time Kevin will be there with me. Also I just *know* this time is going to be different, better. It just has to be. It can't be any worse than Dr. T's office!
Tonight I made a lasagna for the Family Meals Ministry at church. We kept having moms tell us "Thanks, but no thanks," it was crazy. The lasagna doesn't really fit in the disposable pan I bought for it so on my way home from work tomorrow I think I might look for a bigger pan and then figure out a way to transfer it without ruining it. Also I was going to make lava cakes for dessert but now I'm thinking I'm just going to get them some ice cream instead. Easier I think for a mom of 18 month old twins and a 6 month old.

Happy Valentines!

Happy Valentine's Day! I remember back in grade school it was always St. Valentine's Day. I wonder why it changed, or when it did. Or maybe because I was going to catholic school that's what it was called and everyone else has always called it just plain ole Valentine's. Anyways, I hope you all have a great one and that you're able to spend it with the one(s) you love. While I like the idea of Valentine's Day, Kevin and I don't really do too much. A card and maybe dinner. A little over a month later was our anniversary so I always told him to put more effort into March than February. Now that our official anniversary is in September, I'm not sure what to do with March. Last year we still exchanged cards and bought each other presents. Maybe we'll do that this year too. Tonight we're going to go see Taken or The International and then out to dinner. We're thinking about going to a Japanese Steakhouse that's just beyond the mall.
TTC News: My temp is up! Yes! This means that I most likely ovulated yesterday. Yes, I know, you're suppose to wait till three days of a sustained temperature rise but I'm pretty sure of it. Taking into account the EWCM and the ovulation spotting (I found more websites/articles that talk about it and it reads exactly like what I had) I'm like 99% sure. I guess I'll find out on Monday.

Positive Signs

Last night the climbing place that Kevin (and sometimes I) go to had their Valentine's Day party. Also B's (Kevin's usual climbing partner) girlfriend, D, from Phoenix was in town for a long weekend so she came with us. B & D were very cute together.  They're both in their mid to late 40s so they talked about their respective daughters who just had a kid or is pregnant. We ended up staying later than we usually do, even closing out the place at 10:30. On the way home, I made Kevin stop by the Walgreens so that I could pick up a new BBT thermometer.

A funny thing happened when I got home. I had spotting! And not the on-your-underwears kind, just the kind on the TP. It wasn't a lot, really just a few flecks but it was bright red. Of course I went straight to google to figure out what it was and I think it might be ovulation spotting! Yay! But then this morning, my temp was in the normal range for me. On the high side, but still normal. So I'm thinking it's going to be today some time. Yay!

I can't get my fix!

Yesterday Dave and Les kind of flipped out. During the summer months, we'll leave Dave and Les out in the yard during the day to run around and enjoy the nice day. During the winter months they stay inside. They're the ones who make the choice about staying in or going out in the morning.
Yesterday when Kevin was leaving, Les was outside and Dave inside. Les was busy interacting with Gracie (the weimaraner next door) so she ignored Kevin's calls of "I'm leaving now!" He left her outside. When I got home, Les greeted me at the gate whining and complaining. Usually Les doesn't whine. She'll bark and yip and cry out sharply but she's not a whiner. But she was doing some fine whining as I was walking to the front door. When I let her in she ran inside (unusual because normally she lets Dave run out and then chases her around the yard) and squeezed under our bed. She stayed up there till Kevin got home and then she only deigned to come down to look at him and then ran back upstairs. She sulked for the rest of the night. Yesterday was a really nice day in the mid 60s but it was also very very windy. Apparently Les does not like wind.
While in the house alone, Dave decided to poo in the office. Really weird. And when I got ready to go to bed I went to move my BBT thermometer from on the bed (next to the laptop) to the side of the bed only to find that it was in three pieces! I was so pissed! She chewed my thermometer. When I showed it to Kevin, his response was "I wondered why it took so long for her to chew that up." Arg! I think I might O any day now and I won't be able to see that rise!

Deffo Egg White

I now know what FF is talking about when they say EWCM. Seriously, I thought I knew and then today when I went to wipe it was like BAM! EWCM! The real stuff, not "this could be EWCM I guess???" that I usually have. Today is CD19, I had ovulated by this point last cycle. Of course it was totally random and could mean nothing. But even so I've already told Kevin to expect BMS tonight. Oh yeah!

Being Boring

I know I haven't blogged in a while, but that's because really nothing is going on here. Today is CD18 and no +OPKs yet. Temps have fluctuated a little but nothing to indicate ovulation. Only 7 more days till my new RE appt. They called me today to request my records from the other RE & my OB/GYN. They also asked me if I've ever had a HSG. Ick.
At work they're talking about a possible furlough in the near future. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Financially, Kevin and I would be okay as we live well within our means, but it still would be a little bit scary.
Lately I've been a little intrigued about embryo adoption. The Catholic church hasn't come out and said not to do it, but they haven't said it's okay. IVF is not an option for us because of my beliefs, however the new RE is suppose to be really IVF focused (according to the brochure) so I'm hoping that he'll be okay with trying to find out what's wrong with me without pushing us towards IVF.
So like I said, nothing too exciting, but I'll try to not wait so long to post next time.

500 Days of Wedded Bliss!

Kevin and I have our own website. I created one for our wedding. On there, I built a little widget that counted down to our wedding and then once the wedding took place, started counting up. I kept the website up because I keep saying I'm going to update it or turn it into a blog, however I've still not done it yet. Anyways this morning when I got on the internets (it's set as our homepage) I saw that our ticker said "500 days of wedded bliss!" Even Kevin was a little amazed when I showed him.

Why would you do that?

I didn't mention what happened to me yesterday morning. Saturday night Dave was more than a little lethargic. I figured it was the 3 lbs of pork in her, so I wasn't that worried. We all went to sleep like normal. Now Dave sleeps on her dog bed which is set up next to my side of the bed. Yesterday morning as I was reaching over to pick up my BBT thermometer, all I could smell was some one's eggy farts! I eyed Dave and she just kept sleeping like normal. I couldn't stand it so I gave up finding my thermometer and went back to sleep. 

Later when I got up I went to go pee. Dave has learned that this is the optimal time to be petted so she always wants to be in the bathroom with me. If I shut her out then she's at the door scratching, head-butting the door and whining. Yesterday morning she walks into the room and burps! It was horrible! The most rancid, putrid rotting meat smell I have ever smelled ever! As soon as she burped, she sniffed, gave me a look like I was the culprit and then turned around and high tailed it out of the room. I was stuck with my pajamas around my ankles, mid stream and nauseous from the smell. I got out of there as fast as I could. And what did I find in the bedroom? Dave had jumped up and curled up on my side of the bed. Yesterday morning was the only time I have shoved her off the bed.

100th Post

For my 100th post, I have decided to do things a little differently. I didn't really want to do 100 random things about me, because this whole blog is about random things about me. And as Mrs. Deladubree says, "You can tell a lot about a person by looking at the books on their shelves." Of course, she's a librarian so she might be a bit biased, but I've decided to share with you 100 of the books you can find on my shelves. They might not be the best books or my favorite books (most of them are) but there's something about each of them that makes me keep them rather than taking them to a used book store. My intention is to comment on all of them, but it might take me a couple of days, so even though you don't see a new post, there will probably be new content.

Enjoy!

1. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy** – Douglas Adams - I think this was one of the first books I borrowed from Chandy (a friend from college). His mom sends him books all the time so his library has got to be huge! Of course in true fashion, I spilled kool-aid all over it so I was afraid to return it. Then one day after a couple of months of me holding it hostage, while he was in our apartment, he found it and took it back. Amazingly he still let me borrow tons of books afterwards. Anyways, good book, the trilogy is awesome. Don't see the movie though, you'll be sadly disappointed. That said Mos Def does an awesome job of Ford Prefect.
2. The Restaurant at the End of the Universe** – Douglas Adams - Second book in the trilogy. Very good. Adams does a great job in all his books.
3. Life, The Universe and Everything** – Douglas Adams
4. So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish** – Douglas Adams
5. Mostly Harmless** – Douglas Adams
6. A Treasury of Hans Christian Anderson - My sister bought this book for me. I'm not sure why though. Although in high school I was obsessed with The Little Mermaid (the Disney movie, not the actual story), so that might be it. I've not read all the stories in this book, but I probably will once we have kids.
7. Flowers in the Attic – VC Andrews - I had to read this book during high school. Every month each subject (department) had a book of the month. It was really weird when it was math's turn. Usually the professors just picked some random 100-page teeny-bopper book that wouldn't require a lot of concentration. They were the only department that did this. Anyways for some subject I can't remember we read this book. A bit of a weird selection considering my catholic high school. But my high school BFFs, Jan and Fonz, and I started reading everything VC Andrews afterwards. Now VC Andrews didn't actually write all the VC Andrews books. Her estate decided to cash in on her "ideas" by having a ghost writer write under the trademarked name of VC Andrews. When we found out, we were all crushed. Well I was. I had three different series (five books in each series) at that point (spent my precious allowance on those books!) and I gave them all away. But I kept the first book because it was something that we shared together.
8. The Prodigal Daughter – Jeffrey Archer
9. Shall We Tell the President? – Jeffrey Archer
10. Twelve Red Herrings – Jeffrey Archer
11. Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
12. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants – Ann Brashares
13. The Alibi – Sandra Brown
14. Envy – Sandra Brown
15. Fat Tuesday – Sandra Brown
16. Exclusive – Sandra Brown
17. Standoff – Sandra Brown
18. Unspeakable – Sandra Brown
19. Lost Boys – Orson Scott Card
20. I’ll be seeing you – Mary Higgins Clark
21. Pretend You don’t see her – Mary Higgins Clark
22. Where are the children – Mary Higgins Clark
23. Remember me – Mary Higgins Clark
24. While My Pretty One Sleeps – Mary Higgins Clark
25. You Belong To Me – Mary Higgins Clark
26. Harmful Intent – Robin Cook
27. Mutation – Robin Cook
28. The Timewaster Letters** – Robin Cooper
29. Return of the Timewaster Letters** – Robin Cooper
30. Jurassic Park – Michael Crichton
31. The Inferno – Dante
32. The General’s Daughter – Nelson Demille
33. The Memory Keeper’s Daughter – Kim Edwards
34. The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
35. Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
36. The Lais of Marie de France
37. Carter Beats the Devil** – Glen David Gold
38. Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
39. Lord of the Flies – William Golding
40. The Other Boleyn Girl – Philippa Gregory - I'd been hearing a lot about this book and author. Also I knew that a movie was coming out soon so one trip across the Atlantic I stopped by W.H. Smith and picked it up. I thought it was good. I saw the movie about a year after I read the book with a friend who's really into this time period. I liked the actors in the movie but I think they tried to smush too much into a 2-hour movie.
41. The Boleyn Inheritance – Philippa Gregory - I bought this book because I enjoyed The Other Boleyn Girl so much. After reading this one though, I decided I wasn't a Philippa Gregory fan and so I stopped here.
42. Mythology – Edith Hamilton
43. The Scarlet Letter – Nathaniel Hawthorne - I didn't really like this book but we had to read it Junior year in my Honors English class. The best part of that class was that my high school BFFs, Jan, She and Fonz were in this class with me. It was the only class all four years that all four of us were in. Sadly it was also one of the last classes that Jan and I had a together. Senior year we had no shared classes, after three years of being in at least two or three classes with each other each semester.
44. Good News Bible - Yes this book is always filed under H for Holy Spirit. Ten years of theology class and that's the one thing I hold on to. When I was in the 3rd grade we all had to buy a bible from the school (no other edition/copy/version was accepted). My parents decided that I should pay for it out of my own pocket so this might be the first book I ever bought. I've had lots of bibles since then (all lost over the years) but somehow this one has stuck around
45. New American Bible
46. The Iliad – Homer
47. Italian Phrase Book**
48. Into Thin Air** – Jon Krakauer
49. The Key to Midnight – Dean Koontz
50. Mr. Murder – Dean Koontz
51. Twilight Eyes – Dean Koontz
52. She’s Come Undone – Wally Lamb
53. To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
54. Wicked – Gregory Maguire
55. Rebecca – Daphne du Maurier
56. Perfect – Judith McNaught
57. Paradise – Judith McNaught
58. Remember When – Judith McNaught
59. The Mwindo Epic
60. The Norton Anthology of Literature by Women
61. Metamorphoses – Ovid
62. The Song of Roland
63. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – J.K. Rowling
64. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets – J.K. Rowling
65. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – J.K. Rowling
66. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – J.K. Rowling
67. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix – J.K. Rowling
68. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – J.K. Rowling
69. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – J.K. Rowling
70. Empress – Shan Sa
71. The Blackstone Chronicles: An Eye for An Eye: The Doll – John Saul
72. The Blackstone Chronicles: Twist of Fate: The Locket – John Saul
73. The Blackstone Chronicles: Ashes to Ashes: The Dragon's Flame – John Saul
74. The Blackstone Chronicles: In the Shadow of Evil: The Handkerchief – John Saul
75. Nightshade – John Saul
76. Punish the Sinners – John Saul
77. Shadows – John Saul
78. A Midsummer-Night’s Dream – William Shakespeare
79. Romeo and Juliet – William Shakespeare
80. Rage of Angels – Sidney Sheldon
81. The Stars Shine Down – Sidney Sheldon
82. Frankenstein – Mary Shelley
83. Bergdorf Blondes – Plum Sykes
84. The Debutante Divorcee – Plum Sykes
85. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowhip of the Ring – J.R.R. Tolkien - I bought this book on a whim one day. I knew the movie was coming out soon and so I wanted to read it before the movie "ruined" it for me. I only got through 30 pages though before I put it down. I haven't felt the compunction to pick it back up again. I've seen all three movies though, I think they're awesome. One day I might read it, so for that reason I've not gotten rid of it.
86. The Romance of Tristan and Iseult
87. The Aeneid – Virgil
88. Candide – Voltaire
89. The Age of Innocence – Edith Wharton
90. Quidditch through the Ages – Kennilworthy Whisp
91. To the Lighthouse – Virginia Wolfe
92. Women in the Old Testament
93. PHP and MYSQL
94. Design and Layout
95. HTML 4
96. Norah’s Ark* – Judy Baer - I really wanted to like this book. It's about a Christian woman finding love while sticking to her beliefs and morals. But come on! Three of the (small) town's hunkiest men all fall in love with some chick who dresses like a scrub and has the frizziest hair ever? Maybe I'm just a cynic and not able to see beyond the package, but I wasn't impressed with this one. My friend B lived a better story about a Christian woman finding love while sticking to her beliefs and morals.
97. Something Blue* – Emily Giffin
98. Baby Proof* – Emily Giffin
99. The Constant Princess* – Philippa Gregory - I guess I'm a sucker for pain because in a moment of weakness I got this book at my last trip to the library. It's now the only book (of my library books) I haven't read so I need to decide if I'm going to read it or if I'm just going to return it. I mean, I've read about the later wives I might as well read about the first, right?
100. The Time-Traveler's Wife* – Audrey Niffenegger - This book saved my sanity this past Christmas. It was the book I brought over with me when I went to visit the ILs and escaping into this book helped me through this dark period. :) I want to re-read it so I keep renewing it at the library. I think I might just have to buy it. Also, I had just seen the Doctor Who episodes Silence in the Library and Forest of the Dead so I was really interested in the whole concept.

*Technically these are library books, but they're sitting on my bookshelves right now so they count.
**These are actually Kevin's books, but I've read them and liked them (we have very different tastes on which books we'll read) so I put them on my list.