Cooking Club

Every month the moms group I belong to does a Cooking Club playdate. Second Tuesday of every month and somehow I'm never prepared. I'm either buying things the night before (if I'm lucky) but normally the day of. And then I fail. Like today when I dropped most of the cornbread I made on the floor. Six pieces survived. I signed up to bring a craft project for our monthly social on Friday. Still don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know why I volunteer to do these things, I've got to stop.

Today is CD15. I was starting to get worried cause I wasn't seeing any signs of ovulation but it's starting. Dare I believe that my body is going to be regular? Even if a couple of days late? We want to wait till GV is 18 months before TTC but what if I'm shooting myself in the foot? If it's clearly happening then should we be taking advantage of it? Are we dooming ourselves by choosing to wait? Right after we got married I had three perfect cycles and the whole time we were preventing and then when we chose to go ahead and TTC my cycles stopped. I don't want that to happen again.

A couple of friends who have boys GV's age have told me that they're getting ready to try again (waiting for the new year). One got pregnant easily while it took the other 8 months because her cycle count was off. The first month she adjusted for a longer cycle it worked. I almost feel like I have to try now because if I don't then I'll get upset when they get pregnant and I don't. And then I remember that I have GV and can I really feel lousy that I can't have a second child?

Also one of my BFFs from college called me to tell me she's pregnant. She's due in April. She told me before she even told her mom. She was one of the people we asked to write a recommendation for us for our homestudy. Then the Christmas I was pregnant with GV I told her all about my problems with getting pregnant.  That day she had just taken her first pregnancy test but she was pretty sure that she was going to have the same problems as me.  After over a year of not getting pregnant she just assumed that she was going to be one of those women that never got pregnant and stopped actively TTC. And now she's pregnant. I'm so excited for her. How is it that when an IFer tells you they're pregnant it's so much better?