Saturday, January 31, 2009

Teaching a "New-to-Dogs" an Old Trick

I have had dogs almost all my life. And I've had Dave almost all her life. I know her. I know what she's capable of and I know how smart and resourceful she is. This is the dog who has out-smarted me several times and at almost 9 years old, she is still as opportunistic as she was at 6 months. She can open doors both inwards and outwards if she sees a sliver of light coming through. She has multiple times opened her crate/kennel to pass through. Both from the inside and the outside. She's also very agile, aware of her back legs (I'll explain this later) and can jump really high in the air. As in I have a photo of her jumping 6 feet high to catch a ball I had tossed up.
Anyways, when we moved to Ohio in 2005, I convinced Kev to let Dave live with him in his apartment. I was going to live with my Tía and Uncle. They already had three dogs so I didn't want to bring one more into the mix. Also Dave isn't really a dog's dog. She plainly prefers the company of people, more specifically her people (me and Kevin). Kevin had never had a dog before. He'd been around my family's dogs for years, but really that doesn't count. So when she moved in, I gave Kev very clear instructions on what he could do and what he couldn't do. What she would get into and what she wouldn't get into. After a few days, I learned that Kevin doesn't like to defrost meat in the microwave. He'd rather let it sit on the counter during the day. When I realized this, I told him very specifically that he would need to put anything he was defrosting in the sink when we weren't around and Dave was allowed to roam around the apartment. Then about a week after they moved in together, he left a pound of ground beef for our spaghetti that evening out to defrost. We got home from running some errands to shredded butcher paper on the floor, red stains all over the carpet and Dave urgently needing to go outside. As we were cleaning, I commented on how weird it was that she was able to pull the meat out of the sink. I wondered if she had actually jumped up into the space between the counter and cupboards. Kev then confessed that he had left the meat on the counter, "but I pushed it all the way to the back!" I thought that Kev had learned his lesson. And then today...
Kev left the boneless pork shoulder for tomorrow's meal on the counter. Somehow, even though he now puts all defrosting items in the sink, he decided to leave 8lbs of pork sitting on the counter. When we got home I could have throttled him. Dave had pulled it off the counter, got all the wrapping off of it and transported it to the living room rug to eat. The pork shoulder now weighed 5 lbs. And I think the only reason that Dave didn't finish it off was because the center was still frozen. After cutting off all the dirty, Dave-chewed pieces off of it, it now weighs 4 lbs. And Kev's defense?

"But I pushed it all the way to the back!"

Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Hassle of Getting to Work

This morning on the news they warned about "black ice" on the roads. These are apparently puddles of water on the road that freeze over especially on bridges and overpasses that can send your car careening down the road. So I've had to slow down my usual commuting speed. Then when I finally get to work - only 2 or 3 minutes late, there is like NO ONE in the parking lot. There were about 3-4 cars parked right in front of the building but no others. So I start freaking out that maybe something happened in the building and they called to say not to come into work, but since I didn't check my phone before I left the house, I just came all the way down for nothing. No messages on the phone. So I just grabbed my stuff and went in. Everything was dark - like it is when I show up 10-15 minutes early - but there were production people around. Then about 5 minutes after I got to my cubicle everyone else in the office showed up. Apparently the whole office was running late today.
On my way in I noticed two utility trucks pulled over right before my turn into our building. Today I had to go out to St.aples to pick some stuff up. I pass by the utility trucks and they've put a huge hole in the road. I pick up what I need and I'm almost back, turning the last corner to our road and there's a motorist assistance guy standing there forcing everyone to turn around. I look down the road and there's a bunch of flashing lights where those utility trucks are. I explain to the guy that I work down this road and he just says nope. I ask if I can come up the back way and he says he doesn't know. So I had to take a long detour around the freeway and come in from the other side. I get about three buildings down from mine and they've coned off the road. Two police standing there, refusing to let anyone pass. I drive around for a bit and then stop at the closest parking lot to the office and have to walk in the rest of the way. Apparently a couple of people called into work by then to say they couldn't get in so everyone was panicking because it was near lunch time and they didn't know how they were going to get out. Luckily since I had to park outside the barricade, Cupcake (my co-worker) and I were able to go out. We had to go the long way around since all the food places are back on that first road. When we got back after lunch, they let us get as close as the entrance to the office complex on the other side of the road, so we were able to park across the street.
I've put up a map so you can see how silly this whole thing was. (A) is where I was trying to get. The green arrow was where the Utility Trucks (and people) were. The blue route is the way I normally come and the red route is the detour.

Yes, I am a bit bored at work today.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Constant Confusion

That is seriously me these days. AF has been mocking me this cycle. She disappeared completely on CD3 which caused me to POAS on the morning of CD4 because who has a 2 day visit? So I POAS and got a BFN. And because I don't believe the dollar store HPT I do a second one. BFN again. Then AF shows up again on CD4 (barely) and as of right now has gone missing again for CD5. If anyone knows what is going on, please let me know. And really, IB on 12DPO? Is that even possible? And besides, my temps have gone down. Not all the way down, but close enough.
Usually when AF shows up, Kevin changes my morning glass of milk to English tea, however because of this whole fiasco, I'm back to milk. Not that I don't like milk, I just like my cuppa better.
As for ICLW, I'm horrible at it! I stress out over whose blog to comment on and then I stop commenting on the blogs I usually comment on because you can't do what you want when you don't do what you're suppose to do. So now it's the last day and I've only commented on 7 blogs so far. And yes some of those 7 are blogs I comment on anyways. So this is the last month of ICLW for me. I just can't do it.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Cycle the Fifth

CD3. That's where I'm currently at. Sometimes I hate being right. Chicken called me on Sunday to check in and I think she was more disappointed than I was. Although I was prepared for it, the last she had heard about round 4 was that ovulation had been confirmed.
Kevin and I talked about what we should do for this next cycle. We've decided that I'm not going back to Dr. T. My journey with him is over. We are still going to chart and OPK, but we're both concerned that any drugs I take will affect the bloodwork that Dr. G is surely going to want to do. I'll be on CD25 when I go to see him, so if I haven't ovulated by then, I'll be able to start provera and if I have ovulated then I'll only be about 5 days away from a new cycle.
My second IF support group meeting went well. One of the girls that was there in December is now pregnant so Yay! for her. This meeting there were only three other women. They're the ones that started the group. It's a bit weird because they've been meeting for about a year so when they're giving updates they keep having to fill me in with back stories about their experiences/lives. But they've been super nice and welcoming so it's easy to feel very comfortable with each of them. Cool thing about our next meeting is that they've decided not to have it till the end of February so that I'll have any test results from my appointment with Dr. G.
Eek! I only have one week left to get anything done for my January project. I started out so hopeful and I got started right away. But it's fallen by the wayside since those first few days and now there's no way it's going to be all done by the end of January. Does having everything ordered count?

Saturday, January 24, 2009

A Photo Study of Dave and Les

This is a photo study of Dave and Les' interaction with their world.

Dave loves plush toys. She keeps them in her special basket and when she feels like playing with one, will dig through her entire toybox to find that one item she's looking for. The following pictures were taken while we were living in Ohio. Dave is a Floridian. So one day we were at the pet store and found the perfect toy for Dave. She loved it, it quickly became her favorite.

Les loves plush toys too. But for different reasons...

After I took these pictures, I put all of the toy's filling back in him, sewed him shut and put him back in Dave's toybox. Dave was none the wiser.
And we now keep an eagle eye on Les whenever she's near the toybox.

Friday, January 23, 2009

The end is near...

So I'm pretty sure that we didn't conceive this cycle.  I'm not being pessimistic, just a realist.  There have been a few different signs/symptoms that AF is coming soon, but largely I'm going with this gut feeling that I'm not pregnant. And while I'm disappointed, I'm not upset. This cycle was a huge leap for me. First, I actually developed a follicle/egg. Second, I had a positive OPK before the trigger shot. Third, I ovulated! And finally my LP was a normal length this time. I've decided that for sure I'm not going to test.  I just don't want to see the BFN. If my cycle restarts this weekend or even early next week, I have enough time to do one more round before I see the new RE. I'd feel better having two "normal" cycles under my belt when I go to him with my concerns. I'm also wondering if I should be asking my current RE about other things like an HSG, SA analysis, & PCT or if I should just wait till the new RE.
Also, in response to the comment that Cassandra left on the pp. I think I may have worded my intro wrong. I'm not suggesting that everyone wait till they want to have kids to get married, I'm saying that *I* didn't want to get married until I, well both of us, were ready to have kids.  I love Kevin and I've always known that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. But I also loved living my own life and didn't need to be married to him to know that I had the life long commitment from him. And I let him know my thoughts and feelings about both matters almost as soon as we got together. But for everyone else, to each her own.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Adoption Agency Search

Last night was the third Adoption Orientation(AO) that we've gone to. 
We hit the Commonwealth Catholic Charities AO in November right before Thanksgiving.  We were the only couple there. The lady kept trying to push us towards international adoption and also we were surprised by how much they were wanting to charge us.  I mean, I knew roughly what is was going to cost, but 15% of our gross income on top of all the other fees for the home study, lawyers, court, etc., was just a big surprise.  Also, they had a minimum marriage length rule. We could apply as early as our 2nd anniversary but would have to wait till our third to get on the list. That's two more years!
In December when I went to my first meeting of the Infertility Support Group, I learned about three other agencies, Children's Home Society of Virginia, Bethany Christian Services and Jewish Family Services. I sent emails to all three and waited. I got responses from BCS and JFS but not CHSVA. I emailed them again (as I saw on their website that their AO was the next week) and finally got a terse reply. So Kevin and I went to the AO and this time there was another couple present.  They had a good presentation, but again they had a minimum marriage length rule and CHSVA wouldn't even let us apply until our 3rd anniversary.  Also the women there just seemed very off putting to me. I just didn't get very good vibes from them.
Later I emailed the BCS woman back and asked about a minimum marriage rule and got no reply, so I wrote them off.
Now one of the reasons why JFS was mentioned was that a co-worker of one of the girls at the infertility support group had adopted through them.  The couple knew that they were not going to be able to have biological children when they got married and so wanted to go straight into adoption. JFS doesn't have a minimum marriage length rule and with JFS they were able to adopt before their 3rd anniversary.
Last night's AO was a bit different than the ones we had been to previously.  There were about 12-14 couples there, even a few non couple people.  First they had an adoption attorney speak, then a couple who adopted 10 month old twin girls in October and finally the social worker spoke.  The adoption attorney was funny because she kept saying that she wasn't going to go into specifics and then would proceed to do it.  The couple who adopted was great. They talked about the process, their feelings, even their decision to adopt a Caucasian child then reversal of that decision (the girls are bi-racial) and finally what's been going on since then.  It was really nice to hear their story.  The Social Worker was great and she was very warm and friendly. At the end of the meeting her and another social worker told us that they were willing to stay even later (the meeting ran for 2 hours!) if any couples wanted to get started that night with the application process. I knew by then that when we're ready to adopt, we're going to go with JFS. I just had this feeling that we fit.
For now, Kevin and I have decided not to make any decisions yet.  We're going to see how this cycle goes, but ultimately it's going to be the appointment with our new RE that needs to be in the mix before we decide what's the next step for us.
Speaking of this cycle, I'm at 10DPO! Yay! Double digits! I'm ignoring any twinges, cramps or other symptoms because I don't want to get my hopes up, or conversely, convince myself that I'm not pregnant. I started back temping today it was an okay temp. I still haven't decided when I'm going to POAS. Part of me would rather see AF show up than see a negative HPT

Sunday, January 18, 2009

I've made it!

Today is 7DPO. I've lasted longer than last time I ovulated. I'm now in my 1WW. Also today I've reached my "Less-than-1-month-till-I-see-my-new-RE" point. Wow! I'm hoping this week goes by fast. And it should as it's going to be pretty busy. Tomorrow night we have the next concert in our RVA Symphony series. Tuesday is our adoption orientation at JFS. I'm excited about this one because I've heard that they don't have a marriage length requirement. Most places make you wait till your third anniversary before they'll even let you apply. Wednesday I'm going to a Family Meals Ministry meeting at church. Yes, part of the ministry is cooking, which I don't usually do here at home, but the other part is actually going out to the parish families and delivering the food. I wouldn't mind that part, I love meeting new people. Especially people that I might see later at church. I was kind of disappointed that I never ran into any of the ladies from the BSC at church. I guess they all go to earlier masses than Kevin and I do. Thursday is Les and Dave's agility class and Friday we're suppose to go climbing again. By that point I will be 12dpo and the HCG shot should be out of my system so I can test and get a reliable result. I haven't decided when I'm going to test yet, but I guess I'll decide that if I make it to 14dpo. Saturday is also the next meeting of the Infertility Support Group so I'm looking forward to that. It's been almost 2 months since our last meeting.
I have decided to take a break from BBT. I told myself that if I made it through 6dpo just fine, then really, I didn't need a temp again till 10dpo. So this morning when the alarm went off at 6am (Kevin set it for some reason last night.) I just got up and turned it off. Then I went back to bed. It's just a 3 day break, but at least I'll have three nights of being able to thrash around if I want and sleeping until the alarm goes off.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Out and About

Kevin and I actually left the house today! And not just to go on a walk, although we did do that too. The day started when we heard a little woodpecker pecking away on the other side of our bedroom wall. We've had problems before with woodpeckers making holes in our siding, but he's been MIA for a while now and so we thought he'd gone. Well now he's back. Cheeky little bugger.
We have a creek that runs along the back of the houses opposite us. It's pretty little but it grows and empties out into a lake in a park. You can't actually walk down the stream to the park as it's fenced off, but the entrance to the park is just a short drive away. It's also been closed for a while now, but this morning when Kevin drove by it on his way to get a haircut, he saw that it was opened. He came home wanting to go down and walk around the lake. He's tried before, but Dave refuses to go all the way around. To the point that someone at the park asked him if she was "part mule." How rude!
After the park, we actually went on a bit of a shopping spree. And surprisingly Kevin remained in an okay mood the whole time. We went to Michael's to pick up a baby afghan guide book. I made a baby blanket for Tommy K (Wiki's godson) and I want to make one for Chicklet (Chicken's kid) too. I'm trying to decide between two, but I might end up doing one for the shower and one for the birth/baptism.
Then we went a few stores down to Circuit City. It was packed! Some items were on sale, mostly 10% off with a few 30% off. Nothing good though. We looked for external hard drives, scanners, headphones and a few other stuff but there wasn't anything that seemed like a good deal. Can I just say there weren't any scanners! They all seem to be bundled together with printers or faxes. I don't need those things, just a scanner. However some of the printers were wifi which would be nice since we have several computers and only one printer with a single cable. That might be an option once they actually go on sale.
Next we went to Best Buy to return some items and then to Target for bird feeders and puzzles. The ones we got are so nice. We got two so that we can hang them on the porch. I'll take pictures once we actually get them up. We ended up getting three puzzles because we couldn't pick just one. Afterwards, Kevin said we had to be the most boring married couple ever.
And then the bank. I finally closed all my pre-marriage bank accounts so we went to deposit the money in our joint account.
Our last stop was suppose to be fye to exchange the Death Cab for Cutie CD that my parents got him for Christmas. Even though we did a gift blog this year and I specifically said to comment out the things you bought for people and my parents commented that they got him that CD, Mum and Dad got him the CD too. So he exchanged it for a Wilco cd.
After that though, Kevin was willing to go to Joanne's (he loathes that store). I think the reason that he was really good the whole time was because before we left he knew where we were going and why. The only surprise I gave him was Joanne's and he handled it okay. He doesn't like browsing and when we have to do shopping like that for clothes or something he usually moans and complains that he has a headache and is tired after about five minutes. It's so annoying.
But today was good and we got a lot of stuff done.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

4 days past...

I'm feeling better today, a bit more upbeat. Les is still doing a great job at being a blanket weight. Although last night I *made* sure I had enough blanket before I fell asleep. I'm keeping up my annoying habit of waking up some time during the 5 o'clock hour. It's beyond annoying actually cause I quite like my sleep.
I've been trying so hard not to plan this cycle. You know what it's like, thinking "If I get pregnant then it will be due on this day; we'll tell my parents on this day like this; we'll send out these cute cards." It's not that I'm not hoping those things will happen, but I'm trying to be more "in the now" kind of person. Live and enjoy what's going on now and stop focusing on how life will be if or when I get pregnant and have a kid.
At work we've been working on building a fa.cebook app. Can I just tell you that the instructions are a bit more complicated than they need to be? They're also out of date since the new interface. But I think we'll have something working soon. Hopefully. Well better get back to it.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

When Hope Fades

Yesterday I was filled with such hope and optimism about this cycle. I was halfway there and I told myself regardless of any HPT results, I was going to be happy with the fact that I ovluated. And then I got off the bus.
When I woke up this morning I was cold. Les is a great 30 lb blanket weight. Last night she decided to sleep on my side of the bed between my legs. The sheet and blanket were about halfway down my back. So I tried pulling the covers up (I usually like them over my shoulders) and couldn't so I just tucked in and went back to sleep. It's also getting really cold here! So the house cools down quite a bit overnight. At 6am when the music went off, I took my temp and then, using my iphone as a light, checked it. 97.52°. Woeful! I mean, I was hoping for at least 97.61°. I pulled up the covers (forcing Les to move), went back to sleep and ignored Kevin's wake up attempts until 7am. Then I took my temp again. 98.04° I used FF's temp corrector and it said an hour earlier my temp should have been 97.84°. I went with the 2nd temp. Now it shows I ovluated. FF didn't show ovulation with a 97.52° temp and it wasn't going to show it even if my temps went back up on Thursday and Friday. I just couldn't deal with that. So I cheated. But a part of me just knows I ovulated on Sunday even though my temps don't prove it. I don't think I could face two failed ovulations even with an HCG trigger shot.
The other reason why I'm in a funk is because I've been cramping all day today. It started yesterday while we were at Les and Dave's agility class. The cramps aren't bad, but this is generally the feeling I get the day before AF comes. When I ovulated in Cycle 2, I only had a 6 day LP. I assumed that it was because I ovulated so late (CD27). Now I'm contemplating the thought that I might have short LPs as another IF factor. Short LPs mean that even if an egg gets fertilized it doesn't have enough time to implant before AF is triggered. So for now I'm praying that I have a LP closer to 14 days than 6 days. No more prayers of being pregnant anymore.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I've got a problem...

I've mentioned before that I'm a chart stalker. The truth is, I'm totally addicted to bbt. You know how some girls out there in IF land are addicted to POAS? Yeah, that's not me. I couldn't care less about repeating OPKs and HPTs. I take one when I need to but I don't really get a thrill from waiting for those lines to appear. I could discuss BBT forever though. Trends, averages, triphasic patterns, don't get me started! I wake myself up during the weekends too even though I can sleep in. I can spend 30 minutes putting in dummy temps just hoping that those crosshairs will appear. For instance yesterday I figured out that if I got a temp today between 97.59° and 97.72° that would mean I ovulated on Saturday. Over 97.72° and it would say I ovulated on Sunday. So this morning I found myself awake at 5:30 (much the the annoyance of Kevin — the lightest sleeper ever!) and had to keep reminding myself that I needed to wait till 6:00am to take my temp and that I need to keep very still and get back to sleep quickly. Finally when the music started playing, that thermometer was in my mouth quicker than it took Kevin to wake up. And it came up 97.86° - so most likely ovulating on Sunday. And you better believe that I'm playing around with FF today trying to figure out what my range is so that I get confirmation tomorrow.
Also, now that Andrea got her BFP I have no other charts to look at! For sanity's sake, if you're on FF let me know! I need to feed my addiction.
**Update: I need to have a temp of at least 97.61° tomorrow in order to confirm ovulation on Sunday. I've already checked.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Vacation Plans

For the past several years Kevin and I have been using our vacations to visit family or go on vacation with family, in fact we haven't even had our honeymoon. Since our wedding was a destination wedding for everyone we didn't think it was right to take off for a honeymoon right away. So the plan was to spend a week here in RVA with everyone and then the following week go on our honeymoon. And then I got a full time job and so there was no way I was going to be able to get 2 1/2 - 3 weeks off within my first 6 months. So we pushed off our honeymoon till March. Kevin's grandfather died in February and so the time off (& money) we were going to use for our trip was instead used for a last minute trip to the UK. So we settled on going away for our 1 year anniversary. Then Kevin's parents decided that they wanted to come visit us over the summer, but wanted to go somewhere else in the States besides coming to RVA. The remainder of our vacation time went to that as well as the 5 days we used for Christmas in England. And then myMom wanted us to go to Colorado (where Wiki lives) for 4th of July. Kevin mentioned the trip to his parents and told them that they could come too.
After thinking about it a while one evening I told Kevin that I would rather the vacation we took in 2009 be just the two of us and somewhere not in the USA. He suggested Egypt as he's always wanted to go there. We decided to do it in the spring as soon as we had the days saved up and so that if for *some* reason we need more time in the fall we would have it available.
Over the holidays Kevin, Mum and I were sitting in the living room when Kevin asks me again, "So you don't want to go the Colorado for 4th of July right?" Immediately Mum pipes up complaining that she thought her and Dad were going to Colorado with us. Then she asks why we're not going and Kevin stops talking. Eventually I get to tell her that we've decided to go to Egypt in the spring. Of course she starts complaining about if we're going away then when are they going to see us and all that. She knows that we trade off Christmas so that we won't be coming over in December 2009. Well apparently every time she calls she complains to Kevin that they're not going to see us this year and such. And now I think Kevin is wavering on our trip. I've told him to tell his parents that they can visit us whenever they want, we'll just not be able to do more than an extended weekend and most likely be working some days that they'll be here. Is this unfair? Does anyone spend all their vacation visiting family (or them visiting you?) I was willing to not go on my family trip this year so that Kevin and I could have our vacation together. I'm going to be really annoyed if Kevin backs out because of Mum.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Looky here

Yes I know what you're saying, "That's a positive OPK. But you got your HCG trigger shot today, so a +OPK is expected." And to which I reply "Yes, but this is the test from last night!" And then we both squeal with delight! Okay maybe not squeal but deffo a happy dance or something!

Last night while I was making dinner, I remembered that I was suppose to do an OPK. During a lull, I ran upstairs to test and then waited for the results. It didn't look too promising so I gave up and went back downstairs to finish dinner. Then this morning while I was getting ready, I look over at it and realize that it's actually positive! I immediately sent up a prayer of thanks to God. This whole time that's all I've been praying for. To ovulate. First things first after all. Next thing I did was made Kevin come upstairs to look at it. This means that I could have possibly ovulated on my own! Of course I'm not leaving anything to chance so I got the shot anyways today at the doctor. During the u/s they saw a follicle on the right side that I heard was measuring 28mm (Dr. T doesn't share anything like that with me, he just tells me "Everything's looking good.") Then they gave me the shot and I was on my way to work with a big smile on my face.
I know that this isn't a BFP, but it's something! Considering that I only ovulated once in 2008, 2009 is looking good! The funny thing is that I did everything wrong this cycle. I had to use provera to start it. I lost my clomid pills and had to start a day late. I've been fighting a sore throat for almost two weeks now. I had my fast food reprieve this week and so I've been eating out every day and drinking sprite (things I only do during the first week to get my fix for the year). Over the holidays I drank and ate my fill. And I kept forgetting to actually do my OPKs so that the first one I did was Wednesday night right before bed and then again yesterday as I was making dinner. And then I've had no symptoms this time around. You know how usually you get those twinges and pulls and know that "something" just has to be going on down there? Yeah, well, I haven't had any of that. My BBTs are finally coming down and I have what could be called an ovulation dip today, but again, with this sore throat, last night was the first night I didn't wake up multiple times in the night hacking away. But whatever, it worked! So I guess I'm officially in my 2ww now! Wow, I don't think I've ever said that before.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

How did that get there?

So I forgot to mention that while I was on the phone with Chicken Tuesday night, I kind of got into a car accident.  Yeah, I was driving on the freeway, at night, during rain and talking on my phone.  I would have been fine if the huge truck in front of me didn't suddenly stop. But it did and I tried to stop but I hydroplaned so I tried to go around the car but the shoulder was skinny and I didn't want to go on the grass.  Well the right front of my car hit the back left of his truck.  We pulled over and of course there was no damage to his vehicle.  And we couldn't see any damage to my car so we just left.  Then when I got to the store I parked under a huge light and took a second look.  Turns out the that truck's trailer hitch made a perfect square impression in my car!

Yeah and I haven't told Kevin about it.  I know, I know, I need to but I'm not looking forward to it.  And besides it's not like it's going to show up on any police/insurance reports. He hasn't even noticed it yet and he's been driving my car around for the past three days! Maybe if and when he finally asks I'll just say "How did that get there?" It could work?!?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

IF Murphy's Law?

I'm sure there's a Murphy's law something or other out there that states that the minute you decide you want kids and then realize that it's going to be a struggle, EVERYONE around you is going to start having kids. Or at least you notice it more. And yes the same is true for me, however I think I'm unique in that I don't get angry or jealous at these people who can have children. It doesn't make me sad when I hear about yet another friend that is pregnant. And believe me there are lots right now. Two different sets of Kevin's friends who got married after we did are having kids in the next couple of months. Two co-workers just had a kid each this summer. One of my good friends here in RVA just had a kid this summer. My old boss is currently pregnant and another co-worker just announced that his wife is pregnant. It's all around me! But honestly I'm okay with it. It's not their fault that I've got problems so why should I get upset about their pregnancy? I don't want their kid, I want my own. I'm sure they're going to make great parents (or are being great parents) and I'm excited and happy for them. Really.

Last night I got a call from Chicken. When she was here in November, I kind of broke down and told her all the problems we've been having trying to get me to ovulate. She was great at listening (she always is) and since then she's asked about it a couple of times. For the past week or so since we got back she's been leaving me voicemails and emails trying to get a hold of me. I did talk to her last week but only for a few minutes before I had to go do something else. Yesterday on the drive home, she called. After a lot of talking (she's fascinated by the whole SIL/Kevin dynamics) about my trip, she tells me that she's pregnant. Eleven weeks pregnant, so yes she was pregnant when she came to visit us back in November. This is an unplanned pregnancy, but it is not unwanted.

The thing was, for her, she wasn't looking forward to telling me about the baby because of my situation. This is one of the reasons why I try not to share my IF struggles with anyone I know IRL. I don't want her (or anyone) to not want to tell me because she thinks I'll be sad, hurt, upset or mad. What if she's really excited about this but doesn't want to *seem* too excited because of my IF. Or what if she's not excited, but thinks she has to be excited around me because I'll be upset if she's not excited enough. Really, I want her to share any feelings/doubts/happiness she's feeling because regardless of what I'm going through, this is something she's going through and I want to be here for her. I don't want anyone to have to be guarded or walking on eggshells when they're around me. If anything behavior like that upsets me more rather than someone saying something because they don't know.

I try not to fantasize about the future too much because usually I find they don't come true, but of course with this latest development I find that more than ever, I want a baby. NOW. It's all I can do to keep myself from imagining little scenarios in my head.

On the cycle front, I'm currently CD15. My temps are all over the place. I've still not shaken this sore throat that I came home with and I'm afraid to take anything more than Mucinex and Acetaminophen. I just got the call that my HCG trigger shot is ready to be picked up. And Dr. T's office called me to reschedule my appointment for Friday morning. Darn! I was looking forward to starting the weekend early.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

It's like Christmas day...

but better! And why? Because tonight Kevin and I are exchanging gifts finally. Because we were out of the country for Christmas, it seemed wasteful to carry our unwrapped Christmas presents over, wrap them, unwrap them and bring them back. So Kevin and I decided that we would exchange gifts today on the Feast of the Three Kings. I've got a few last minute gifts to get on my way home and then we'll open all our gifts up and then take down all the Christmas decorations. Also the good thing about waiting till today to exchange gifts is that you can hit all the after Christmas sales so that should mean double the amount of gifts, right? Well maybe. Kevin and I did take one gift each to exchange on Christmas. He got me a Gorillapod.
This truly has to be one of the best Christmas gifts he's ever given me! We've used it tons of times already and if you know a photo fanatic, this is really a gift they're going to LOVE! I got a red one to go with my red camera. Yes, I like the color red.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

First part done

Remember back in October when the Deladubrees came to visit and I decided that I couldn't deal with one more person walking into my house and seeing my ugly bedroom walls. I had such high hopes for getting the room completely finished and since then, nothing. Well today I finished painting the walls in my bedroom. So now all four are a lovely shade of buttercream yellow. I have no idea if that's an actual shade of yellow available at Lowe's but that's what I'm calling it. The next job for the walls is doing the feature wall. That's going to be a battle. Kevin doesn't really like wallpaper, but I think 4 walls of the same thing is just boring. I've just got to convince him that I haven't gone wrong in the house yet (to his amazement) so to just trust me on this one.

I think I've chosen a hamper.
It's a bit pricey, but I've been looking for 3 years and I haven't been able to find anything else that fits what I want. My criteria is: I want it to not look like a hamper, I want it to tilt out, 3-4 comparments, be modern/traditional and white. The rest of my bedroom furniture is white. I think I might just have to bite the bullet on this one and go ahead and get it. Besides, I'm helping the economy!

I also found this bench. I like the ulpholstered seat as well as the combination of drawers and baskets. I do want it darker but I'm not crazy about the side panels. They're kind of mission style which I'm not a big fan of. We'll see.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

So Productive!

I feel so productive today! I managed to clear off the dining room table and the coffee table. It looked worse than this before picture. Plus I swept, put away the clean dishes, scrubbed the tub and went for a bike ride at a local trail. It was a bit harrowing at times considering that I have a road bike and I was struggling to get it over roots, logs and through the mud! Kevin has a proper mountain bike so he was just flying through everything. Eventually I gave up and just biked along the paved trails while Kevin was thrashing his way through the trails. We're gonna try to go out on the bikes twice a month or so. He says my bike looks used now (courtesy of the mud stains) rather than living it's life in a garage.

So I've come up with a "Honey Do" list for myself - 12 projects in 12 months. I figure if I have a set item each month, they'll actually get done. My January project is:

Decorate bedroom including:

  1. Finish painting other two walls,
  2. get pictures framed and hung,
  3. buy a hamper &
  4. get a bench for foot of bed.
  5. buy/make nice window dressings.
I'll let you know how successful I am for this month.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a great time last night and good day today. Hopefully not a lot of hangovers! Although since most of my readers are TTC, I doubt that's an issue. Kevin and I went on our traditional New Year's Day hike with the dogs. We usually take a photo as well but I left the memory card in my computer at work and so the photo we took this year isn't really that good. Also we went later in the day so Kevin was anxious to get back because the sun was setting.

Great news today! Andrea got a New Year's BFP! I'm so excited for her as she's been waiting a long time for this. Please keep her in your prayers and congratulations again Andrea!