Monday, June 29, 2009

CD1 - take two

So I'm not sure if I should still consider this Cycle #9 since AF is visiting again. Because of the cyst found a few Mondays ago (the 8th, CD2) I've been taking BCPs since that Wednesday (CD4). On the 24th, I went back to Dr. Grrr's office and got the all clear. I started the Lupron that night but didn't stop the BCPs till Saturday(CD21). Today is now CD 1 again. Lupron continues for another 4 days and HMG starts on Wednesday. My next appt is on Monday (the 6th, CD8). We'll then know if this Lupron/HMG trick is going to work.

I'm not really optimistic that these meds or this cycle are going to work. I've trying to stay positive because I firmly believe in mind over matter and I want to give Kevin his fair shot. I asked him what he wanted for his bday (a month from today!) the other day and he said a baby. I was kind of shocked by his answer, but over the past three weeks he's been displaying more and more signs that he wants to keep going, keep TTC. At $600-800 per cycle, I just feel the money would be better spent on the homestudy or an adoption attorney. It would be one thing if Dr. Grrr knew what was wrong with me, but if the best they can do is unexplained, what's the point?


Anonymous said...

J and I had some minor conflicts like this, too. I think that it's different for guys because they are experiencing the physical effects of TTC secondhand and don't have the same intuition about our bodies and the process. I was ready to move on to adoption before J was. I think he was a little bit in denial and thought that a few more IUIs would fix things. Whereas my body was on the front lines of the war and I felt it was time to surrender. I finally convinced J with statistics about our chances of success with various treatments, costs, etc. That worked with him since he's an engineer and responds well to logic, not my feeling of "it's just time to stop."

A said...

Wow, I am a little confused about the cycle days and the BCP's and the other meds, but I'll just go with you that today is CD1 again ;-)

It's tough to be optimistic, but I am right there with you. Kevin's birthday wish must've been a little hard to take, but I'm sure you appreciate his encouragement. I think unexplained is much harder to deal with than a particular problem. I know before I knew I had low progesterone, I felt like a top spinning around without ever stopping. Maybe you could get a second opinion on your test results?

Praying for a successful cycle and a great bday present for your hubby!

Amanda said...

I didn't realize that you were going to go for it again. It's tough when you are on different pages. Hopefully you'll find yourselves on the same page soon.