Monday, April 27, 2009

I'm Giving Up on BBT

That's right! I'm no longer slave to that IF ritual every morning. No more waking myself (and Kevin) up at 6 am on Saturdays and Sundays just so I can take a freaking temp that always depresses me. This weekend: Friday my temp was in my normal range at 97.4°. Saturday it jumped up to 98.0°. Yes! I ovulated. Then Sunday it dropped to 97.6°. WTF??? And today it was 97.7°. Both of those are below my 97.8° usual coverline. I've got a couple of theories which include the current heat wave in RVA (it was 94° on both days!) and missing winter blankets (did i mention it was 94° each day this weekend?). But now I'm thinking that I might call my doctor and request a P4 test for this Saturday.
Last Thursday evening we went round to #25 to drop off a Lasagna Stoup we made for them. Good thing we did! Visiting at the time was their MIL and BIL as well as a neighborhood kid who was playing with their 4 year old. I sat next to Mr. #25 to get a look at the new kiddo and he asked me if I wanted to hold him. Can I just tell you a wave of sheer panic overcame me. I think I answered something along the lines of "No! I don't hold babies, just look at them." BIL shared that he was afraid of holding the baby too and that it took a while for him to get use to it. But the fact that the first emotion I felt was panic made me question if I am ready for a baby? I've never been a newborn baby fan - I fall in love with them when they're like 5/6 months old. What the heck am I going to do?


Amanda said...

Congrats sister! Stupid BBT ain't nothin but trouble. Your chart sounds like mine from last cycle. I think I'm still going to use it for a couple of days around O time to see if this fall back is a normal thing for me but really, it's a lot of trouble and especially unhelpful if you get erratic readings.

I don't hold babies either until worn down by well intentioned people.

Andrea said...

I have only ever held one newborn baby and that took a lot of effort for me. I was terrified the first few times I held him! A few of weeks later I started regularly holding him and it was much different than holding a day old baby, even a week or 2 old baby. The problem with IF is that it gives us too much time to think about having a baby. I think everyone has some type of fear like ours, but we can't let it stop us! You are going to be an amazing mother!

A said...

I stopped with the BBT when I started using my fertility monitor- it has been GREAT!!!

Hillary said...

It's been rather freeing for me to give up BBT! Congrats :)

Anonymous said...

I remember that feeling of giving up's a relief but also made me a little sad. Sometimes I think about going back to it for various reasons but then I mentally shake myself and ask "why would you torture yourself like that again?" :)

Being nervous about holding a newborn is normal, I think. I used to babysit and before IF I always held people's babies, but after IF I didn't because it was like asking a recovering heroin addict to hold a hypodermic needle for you...torture. I felt awkward holding Evie for a few days but it became second nature pretty fast, so I'm sure it will be the same for you. The reason you enjoy older babies now is because they have a lot more personality than newborns, but YOUR newborn will have tons of personality because he/she will be yours. Trust me. :)