Friday, January 23, 2009

The end is near...

So I'm pretty sure that we didn't conceive this cycle.  I'm not being pessimistic, just a realist.  There have been a few different signs/symptoms that AF is coming soon, but largely I'm going with this gut feeling that I'm not pregnant. And while I'm disappointed, I'm not upset. This cycle was a huge leap for me. First, I actually developed a follicle/egg. Second, I had a positive OPK before the trigger shot. Third, I ovulated! And finally my LP was a normal length this time. I've decided that for sure I'm not going to test.  I just don't want to see the BFN. If my cycle restarts this weekend or even early next week, I have enough time to do one more round before I see the new RE. I'd feel better having two "normal" cycles under my belt when I go to him with my concerns. I'm also wondering if I should be asking my current RE about other things like an HSG, SA analysis, & PCT or if I should just wait till the new RE.
Also, in response to the comment that Cassandra left on the pp. I think I may have worded my intro wrong. I'm not suggesting that everyone wait till they want to have kids to get married, I'm saying that *I* didn't want to get married until I, well both of us, were ready to have kids.  I love Kevin and I've always known that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. But I also loved living my own life and didn't need to be married to him to know that I had the life long commitment from him. And I let him know my thoughts and feelings about both matters almost as soon as we got together. But for everyone else, to each her own.

9 comments:

Amanda said...

I'm sorry it looks like things won't be working out this cycle. I know it must be very hard first not ovulating then when you do not getting the results you want. But you're right about all the good things that happened this cycle and hopefully you'll get those good things going again next cycle.

daega99 said...

Hello! Hope this cycle and next at least brings some confidence to you!

*ICLW 66*

Becky said...

Oh crap, i was really thinking this was the cycle for you! Darn, nice positive attitude though, i always hated testing! Good thing the dollar store sold them for $1 i went through them like they were tissues!! The funny thing is the closes store to me is in a crappy part of town so when i was buying 5at a time (the minum you could spend at the store and use a debit card) others people were too, granted i was the only one over 21!! HA ha, love your blog!

Also i wanted to comment on your, 'not getting married until we were ready for kids' ha if it works for you awesome!! I knew i wanted to me married a few years before i started a family but that's just what worked for us, if we were all the same it would be a really boring world!!

Kischa said...

I'm still gonna keep my fingers crossed for you this cycle. If you can keep from doing that HSG - that would be a good thing, I had 2 of them done and they are not very comfortable.

Andrea said...

I hope you are wrong about your suspicions. But you're right, this cycle has been great for you and if it isn't the one, hopefully it will lead to the right one very soon!

I woke up thinking about you today and wondering when you're going to test. Now I'm off to stalk your chart again :-)

notsofertilemyrtle said...

Congrats on your marriage and your decision to start TTC! I hope that your journey is short and sweet.

Happy ICLW!

Karen said...

I hope you're wrong! I've heard in many places (books, blogs, online resources..) that many women feel like they are getting AF when they are really PG, so don't give up hope until she comes.

I think your thoughts about when to get married are quite interesting...I don't think I've ever heard anyone put it that way before, but I bet there are many women who feel the same way. You just have to do what feels right for you. For J and I, we got married knowing we didn't want kids right away but we wanted to be together! (I was 20 when we married.) In the end we both have the same result...happy marriages, so it's all the same :)

Annie said...

I hope you are wrong about this cycle too (((hugs))) In either case, I hope this happens soon for you.
ICLW

birdsandsquirrels said...

Hi,
I hope you are wrong about this cycle not working too. But if it doesn't, you are right, developing a follicle and getting a positive opk is huge! I don't think I've ever had a positive opk.

I used to test starting at 9dpo, but after nearly a year of doing that, I can't take the bfns anymore. It's too depressing.

Good luck with the rest of the two week wait!

ICLW